


Unconditional

by Leydhawk



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 23:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17907935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leydhawk/pseuds/Leydhawk
Summary: When Leah Elton, a marine biologist working in Antarctica, discovers an Ancient panel in the ice that allows her to communicate with the Atlantis expedition, no one expects to have Dr Rodney McKay be the preferred contact for her as she works to become a relay of information between Stargate Command and the out of contact expedition in the Pegasus galaxy. Even more unexpected is a lifetime bond that’s created between them across the multiverse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my 50th story to post on here I’m Cross posting one of my early fan works. Probably rather Mary Sue, with an OFC who’s near super human, and in an earlier writing style from my later work, I was inspired by a song to get back to work on this, and since AO3 is my preferred home for fic, here we are. This fic is LONG and meandering and includes various tropes I’ve enjoyed over the years. It’s not super Sheppard friendly, but I try to be fair to all characters.  
> It’s also incomplete at this time, and although I have an ending planned, and a ton of unposted pieces written, I’m hoping to get this monster done. But that’s an intention not a promise. If I haven’t scared you off, I hope you enjoy this. I prefer not to engage in unsolicited advice or concrit. Please respect that.

Doctor Meredith Rodney McKay was dying. He’d been known as Mar (a slurring of his first and middle initials) to his wife for so long that it felt strange to think of the whole thing as his name. They’d had decades together. Centuries. And yet it wasn’t long enough. Forever was the only time frame which would satisfy him. He wanted to be with Doctor Leah Francesca Elton-McKay, known to him as Elf, forever. Their first meetings were nearly lost to ancient memory, but with her help, they recalled their story to one another. One last time.

 

 

 

Leah shook her head, attempting to clear it.Her mouth was dry and her brain felt too big for her skull.She heard voices around her, but the phrases seemed not to make sense to her.

“—said her mixture was fine, she just started twisting around and swimming away like she saw something—“

“—experienced divers, not at fault—“

“—suffering hypothermia—“

“—asking if I saw the lights she saw, I don’t know what she was talking—“

“—lawsuit would shut us down here—“

“—her father’s a Senator, he’s gonna—“

A face slid into view above Leah’s face.It was dominated by cocoa brown eyes, and she knew she ought to recognize it, but her mind was working so slowly, she felt like she was stoned.

“—awake again. _Cher_ , can you understand me?”

Leah blinked slowly and tried to nod.

“—if ya’ll’d be quiet!Leah, d’you know where you are?”

Suddenly there was silence and three more faces swam into view over her.She looked from one to the other to the other, then squinted as she peered beyond them.She licked her lips.

“Antarctica, Phellon,” she cleared her throat, “research station, 80 miles from—McMurdo,” she coughed slightly at the hoarseness of her cracking voice.“Infirmary, apparently.Can I have some damn water, I’m parched here.”

A straw was placed at her lips and she drank.

“What happened out there?Matt said you swam away from him.”

“There were lights--that came on, like …an instrument panel.They were in—in the ice and… more started lighting up and I—followed them.There’s something, something..some kind of machine embedded in the—ice.And it was like… it recognized me.”She frowned. “There was hole, and—I reached in to-to, uh, touch it and there was this flash, then I was floating, floating…”Her mind swirled with images of flying up through the ice, of sky, stars, of a blur of grey and then a glistening city spread below her, surrounded by ocean.Then the images became chaotic.She recalled floating down into the city, she saw people moving around, but none of them seemed aware of her.There were military items around, and glowing panels like the one she’d seen in the ice, then a lean, dark-haired man looked right at her and called out.She felt as if she had been hit and she retreated.His eyes seemed to follow her, like he could reach out with his mind and seize her.She writhed, trying to escape, and then she recalled struggling with her scuba mask, choking on icy sea water, then darkness.

More questions followed, but Leah’s mind seemed to lose focus as she drifted away on a fog, and her eyes closed.

But she dreamed.Flying, sky, stars, grey, then the ocean and the city.She floated down the corridors, past people.This time she felt clearer.The images around her didn’t feel chaotic or dreamlike, just foreign.She didn’t recognize most of the uniforms the people wore, but some were American military, she thought.None of them seemed to see her.She caught whispers, impressions of emotions from those she passed closely to, but she couldn’t focus on them.Another whisper, this one more focused and somehow familiar, called her in a particular direction, and she floated after it.A bearded man in a white lab coat stood over a cage holding white mice.He seemed engrossed in making notes on a clipboard.Leah floated closer, trying to read what the man was writing.He heard a murmur of voice and felt a sense of concentration.She focused on the voice and began to make out words.‘L-Lysine and L-Glutamine in the subject have increased—‘ the voice was masculine and had a burr to it she recognized as Scottish.‘Those are amino acids,’ she thought to herself.Suddenly he jumped as if he felt her.He stared around wildly, then his eyes focused on her.He squinted, then backed away, fear flowing out from him toward her like a grey fog.Leah tried to make a pacifying gesture, tried to speak to him.

‘Can you see me?Where am I?’She asked.The man stumbled away, slipping, catching himself on the edge of a table, then ran away.The man’s fear left a mistiness in the room, trailing after him.She tried to look down at herself, but saw only light.She moved her hands and saw a swirling of silvery ribbons of brightness, but she saw nothing familiar.She moved to where the clipboard had fallen from the man’s hands and peered at it.It was notes on something regarding genetics.Her own background in marine biology allowed her to understand some of it, but there were notations she didn’t recognize cognitively.The unknown symbols seemed familiar somehow, but she couldn’t remember ever seeing them before.Their meaning felt just beyond her grasp.

Men with guns swarmed into the room, and she whirled, looking from one to the other.They all wore military uniforms, but none seemed to be able to see her.The niggle of familiarity that had drawn her to this lab grew, and then redoubled as two more men entered the room.One was the bearded man.His grey fear clung to him, and he pointed at her.The other man was the man she’d seen in her previous vision.Her mind registered that he was very handsome, then he raised his weapon.Leah backed away from them, shaking her head.She tried to hold her hands out from her body, to be unthreatening, but the man’s gaze was cold.He yelled something to the other soldiers and stared hard at her.She felt herself captured by his gaze and heard a voice in her mind.‘—made of light, not darkness like the energy creature, but the men can’t see it.It seems immaterial, but I cannot let it harm the people here. This is what you’re here for, John, to protect these people.But if only Carson and I can see it, it must have something to do with the Ancients.Even so, I will not let it hurt Atlantis!’ 

Leah felt herself trembling.She tried to call out to the voice in her mind. 

‘I don’t want to hurt anyone!Where am I?What is this place?What’s happening?’She cried.The lead soldier’s eyes narrowed as if he might have heard her.She moved toward him, desperate to have him hear her.‘Can you hear me?I don’t know what’s going on!’

Bullets tore through the room, passing harmlessly through Leah, but she recoiled, screaming.She sensed the bearded man collapse with the sound of her scream in his mind, but the lead soldier kept firing.She flew backward, through the walls, the ceiling, and suddenly she was hovering in the atmosphere above the city.She was shaking, trembling, but she knew she wasn’t in a corporeal body to have the shakes.‘I want to wake up, I want to wake up!’She cried out in her mind.

...And she sat up in the infirmary bed, gasping and sweating. 

Leah held her hands out in front of her, staring at the hard lines of her normal flesh.She touched her face, felt the perspiration, the heat of her skin.She looked around the room.

“Jamie?”She said.The young doctor turned from his computer and smiled.He came to the edge of her bed.

“Hey, _cher_ , how you feelin’?”He asked, his Cajun accent lilting his words.

“I had a—a nightmare.”

He took her hand, unobtrusively checked her pulse.It was rapid, but slowing.

“Okay.How does your body feel?”

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and took stock of how she felt.

“Shaky, a little lethargic, but no pain or anything.”She opened her eyes and looked at Jamie.“What happened to me?”He shook his head.

“We were hopin’ you’d be able to tell us.What d’you remember?”

“Flying.A floating city, and people who couldn’t see me…wait, that was my dream.”She shook her head.

“Yesterday you and Matt went on a dive.D’you remember that?”

Leah searched her memory, going past the very vivid dream images.She nodded.

“We were checking out that blip we got under the ice.He was east of me, and I saw something in the ice.I swam closer, and there were lights inside the ice.I followed the bank of lights off to my right, then there was a hole, and I could reach the panel embedded in the ice.I touched it, and there was a flash of brightness, but it—“ she frowned, trying to find the words to describe a completely foreign sensation.“It was a flash of brightness inside me, in my mind.Then I…I floated up.I was insubstantial and I went through the ice, up into the air, into space, moving faster and faster.I was flying through this grey…nothingness, then I was in the air over the ocean.”She concentrated, trying to reach past the dream she’d just had of the same place to the real memory.They felt so similar…“There was a city below me, with towers.It was floating in the ocean, and I flew down toward it—“

“That’s what you said about what you just dreamed, Leah.Can you ‘member what happened on the dive?”

She frowned at Jamie.“I _am_ remembering what happened on the dive.It…it’s like I was there once, when I touched the panel, then I dreamed about it again.It was different the first time.Let me finish chasing down the memory.”She closed her eyes, focusing on coming down toward the city.

“I went through the walls of the place just like I’d gone through the ice.I could see people, walking around.Regular people, in some sort of uniform…I don’t recognize the uniform.But there are a few people in what looks like US Military uniforms.I’m coming down this hallway and then there’s a tall, dark haired guy.He looked right at me, and I heard, no, I felt him yell at me.He…his mind grabbed me and I couldn’t get away, I tried to pull away from him, I struggled, and—and then I was back underwater, and my mask was askew, the water was touching my face.I still had air, but it was so cold, and someone was grabbing me, and I struggled…then nothing.I woke up here.You all were talking and you gave me water and asked if I knew where I was and what had happened and I think I talked a little, then I drifted off to sleep.”She opened her eyes and Jamie stared at her, concern apparent in his large brown eyes.

“Well, the first part and the last part I can confirm, but you seem to have had some sort of hallucination under d’ice.D’ cold, d’ dark down there, maybe your mixture was off, but I think you had a funny little dream, cher.” Jamie said.He patted her hand and stood.“Are you still tired?D’you want to sleep some more?”

Leah shook her head.She went over and over it in her head.Both the memory of the city when she had been underwater and the dream felt as real as what she was feeling at this moment.

 

~~~Stargate Atlantis~~~

 

When Leah was released from the infirmary Jamie told her to take it easy for a few days and report any more ‘hallucinations’.She had nodded silently at the instructions and walked back to the dorm.After dinner, she went into what the inhabitants of the research outpost called the quiet room.Anyone who wanted peace to read, research, meditate, or any other quiet task, could do so there.All of the noisier recreations were reserved for the other rec room, which also served as the dining room.

Leah had her yoga mat with her, as well as a small blanket.She chose an empty corner of the room and unrolled her mat.She sank down onto it and folded herself into full lotus.Then she wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and began deep breathing exercises.After several minutes of deepened breaths, she had her pulse and breathing down to a very slow rate.She was in a deep meditative state.She turned her mind to reaching up and out of herself.Her self seemed to swell outside her body, then contract into it, but she did not rise up.She tried to feel lighter and lighter, that she could float up, but she didn’t.Then she focused on the city she had seen, floating amidst a vast ocean, and she shot up like a cork.So fast this time, the sky and stars barely flashed past before she was in the grey, then at the city.It was night this time, and as she moved into the hallways, she saw fewer people.She decided to explore the place this time, and try to avoid another confrontation.As she moved around, she saw panels which glowed with foreign symbols that were almost familiar.In rooms, she found some places were draped in silky-looking material, so she couldn’t tell what the furniture was that was covered.But as she moved farther into the city, she found more places which were obviously in use regularly.She tried to skirt those, only investigating the edges to as not to encounter any people.She saw one title on many of the crates and uniforms; Atlantis.These people seemed to be an expeditionary force.

The little tickle in her mind told her one of those people who would perceive her was near, and she moved away from the sensation.She wondered what made those people able to see her.Maybe there would be more of them who wouldn’t freak out at her glowiness, but she wasn’t yet willing to risk it.

Then suddenly, she moved into a room which she took to be yet another lab, and a man with that familiar feeling was there in front of her.His back was to her, and she studied him for a moment, ready to will herself back through the wall and away.He had short brown hair, a nice set of shoulders, and a stocky body.He wore a blue long sleeved shirt and tan pants, and he seemed to be engrossed in a small glowing panel.She moved toward him hesitantly, and sensed his mind was intensely devoted to his task.She immediately recognized that his thoughts were much more focused than the other two mens’.She could tell precisely what he was thinking, though it was far beyond her comprehension.A thrill ran through her.‘A scientist!Perhaps he’ll find this fascinating instead of terrifying.’She thought.The man jerked upright and whirled around as if she had spoken unexpectedly in his ear.

Leah moved back to the wall and studied him.He had a broad, late thirty-something face, clean-shaven, with a frown line seemingly etched between thick eyebrows.A pointed nose and slightly cleft double chin framed a versatile mouth which was working soundlessly.She was now far enough away to have to concentrate to hear his thoughts, though she could see the grey fog of fear hovering at the back of his neck.It didn’t flow out to encompass everything yet, but she could tell it was barely held in check.His mind was running, leaping through possibilities, some which were so technical in nature she didn’t understand them.She caught something about a gene which must be within the viewer to see her.A flicker to the names she’d heard before of the other two men, John and Carson, then a technical possibility regarding quantum fields.She withdrew her listening and decided to try to speak to him. 

Leah focused her own mind as much as she could on her words, thinking them carefully as she said them.

‘I am not here to harm you.I am a scientist in Antarctica.My name is Leah Elton.What is your name?’

Immediately, he stared in comprehension.Leah nearly sighed in relief.

“I am Dr Rodney McKay.I lead the scientific division of the expedition.But why don’t you already know that if you’re a scientist on the Stargate program?”He pointed as he asked his question.

‘I don’t know anything about a Stargate program.I’m a marine biologist working at a research outpost.I was on a dive and found a glowing panel like those here in the ice.I touched it, and since then, I’ve been able to come here twice.You’re the first person who can see me who isn’t terrified or aggressive.’

He smirked.“I’m sure Carson was the terrified and Sheppard the aggressive.”He gave a little head bobble of superiority with that statement.The fear cloud was gone from him, and he sat down.“I heard about your encounters.It’s…fortuitous? That you finally came to see me.I’m certain I’ll be able to figure this out.Now, you say you saw a panel like those here under the ice in Antarctica.Can you describe it?”

‘Well, it was similar to…”She looked around and saw one on the opposite wall.“This one.’She approached it.‘It started to glow when I swam toward it.I followed the lights to an opening in the ice and I reached out to touch it.There was a flash of brightness in my mind, then I was flying up and eventually I was here.I saw many people, but it wasn’t until I saw… I think you called him Sheppard.His first name is John, right?’He nodded, studying her.He stared intently at what she perceived as her face.‘When he saw me, it was like his mind tried to trap me, and I had to break away violently.I was suddenly back on Earth, choking on seawater.What do you see when you look at me?’

His head jerked at the abrupt change of subject.He looked at her all over.“I see an amorphous glowing cloud.When you speak, I get an impression of a face here.”He gestured where he’d been looking.“It’s actually quite…beautiful.”He said softly.Then he raised his head and looked piercingly at her.She could see his eyes were blue and very attentive.“So how did you come back?Are you underwater again?”

‘The second time, I was dreaming, or at least I thought I was.Now I’m in a deep state of meditation, and I consciously chose to come.It seems I can only come here, not go flying all over the world.I had to focus on the city to be able to get, well, out of my body, I guess you could say.Where are we here?The middle of the Pacific?Or…farther?’

“Atlantis is in the Pegasus galaxy.Now how was the panel different from this one?”He gestured at the panel she’d indicated.

‘The…I’m in a different galaxy?’Leah felt faint.She almost giggled.‘How could I faint when I’m not in my body?’

McKay stared at her.“Yes, the Pegasus galaxy.We came through the Stargate, and we haven’t had contact with Earth in several months.”He seemed impatient.“Now, how was the panel—“

‘Whoa, whoa… this is so huge.’Her mind raced.‘But wait, there’s no way, I—I… doesn’t relativity say something about not being able to move faster than light without a time distortion kind of thing?Like the… I’d still be young, but everyone else would be dead and gone back home by the time I returned?The—the twin paradox, Einstein, right?’

McKay waved impatiently.“I thoughtyou said you were a scientist.Obviously the twin paradox deals only with those still in a human body, not with a consciousness removed from that body.Besides, wormhole theory, as proved in the last 8 years, completely changes the field of quantum physics.For example—“He dove into a technical description of something about quantum field variances, and she waved her arms.

‘Shut up!’She cried.He stopped cold, hands in mid gesture.He looked as crestfallen as a little boy, and she softened her tone.‘Dr McKay, I am a biologist.I never even took basic physics in high school.My knowledge of the theory of relativity and Einstein’s twin paradox comes from science fiction.I’m 28 years old and I’m a little overwhelmed by this.Give me a minute to try to grasp it.’

His lips pressed into a thin line and he crossed his arms.“Fine.”He stood there for a long moment, looking around the lab.Leah tried to breathe deeply, but realized that without a body, she couldn’t use that as a relaxation technique.She focused on a mantra, imagining her breath with the sounds.

“Are you done yet?”McKay’s impatient voice cut through her concentration.She looked at him in frustration.

‘Why is this happening to me?’She asked.She hoped it didn’t sound as plaintive as it might.

“I believe you must have the Ancient gene which allows you to initialize Ancient technology.Your presence activated the panel in the ice.You touched it, and it…did whatever it was designed to do.Perhaps it’s a communication device those who returned to Earth used to stay in contact with those left behind on Atlantis.In any case, you are the first link we have truly had to home.I intend to utilize you.I need to understand all I can about the device that brought you here, and you will have to get into contact with Stargate Command to relay information we’ve gathered here.”He looked around, suddenly looking very excited, his fingers snapping repeatedly.“That’s it, you can be our relay to Earth.Maybe we even find some way to allow others to use the device.I’ve got to talk with Elizabeth…”

She stared at him as he started to head for the door.‘Wait!’He stopped and turned.‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.Who are the Ancients, and what is Stargate Command?’

His mouth opened as if to explain, then he sighed.She heard his thoughts.‘Explain all this?To a kid from Earth who found a toy while swimming?Great!’

‘I’m not a kid.I am a research scientist, top of my class at UCLA.MS in marine biology from Texas A&M, I’ve been published 12 times in the last 4 years.’She stated, sensing he might respond better to her credentials than to her amorphous self.His arrogance was annoying.

“I didn’t say you were a kid—“He protested.

‘No, you thought it.That’s another little benefit of being a floating consciousness.I can hear your thoughts.’Leah added as much rancor as she could to her tone.

McKay stared at her for a long moment, then she caught the brief thought.‘Crap…’ and he bolted form the room.

‘Oh, shit. Brilliant.Alienate the first person who’s stopped to talk to me.Great.’She floated quickly after him.‘Dr McKay, wait!’She called.He was at the end of the hall, maybe 20 feet from her.He stopped and looked back.

“I don’t want you reading my mind,” he said forcefully.She stopped moving toward him.

‘Distance blocks it.I can only hear what you say now, not your thoughts.’

“Good.Stay there, then.”

‘Look, you need to tell me what the hell is going on here, and I take it it’s a rather complicated tale.Will you come back into the lab and sit down?I promise to stay far enough away so I won’t be able to hear you thinking.’‘As if I understand half of it anyway, this guy’s a fucking genius…’

He finally agreed, and she didn’t tell him that she could still hear his more forceful thoughts from where she settled across the lab from him.He began a narrative to rival any sci-fi she’d ever read or seen.

‘So Asimov was definitely wrong…’She said softly, referring to the science fiction master who’d written mainly of a universe with no alien life.

“About what?”McKay rolled his chair a bit closer.

‘Nothing.The government has known this for so long.It’s pretty amazing that no one has blown the lid off it.I think my head hurts from all this, but considering my head is however many million…crap, I don’t even know the appropriate astronomical term.Not A.U.s.Maybe…you tell me.’She said.He moved forward a little more, and she caught a thought of him wondering what she looked like.

“Uh, that would be light years?That’s what you’d use to measure the distance between galaxies.” His tone said ‘duh’, but his mind was happy to show off something he knew that she didn’t.

‘How long have I been here?’She asked, dropping her voice so he’d come a bit closer still.She didn’t care about reading his incomprehensible thoughts, but it was a strain to project her ‘voice’ across the room.And it seemed to be getting harder.

McKay checked his watch.“We’ve been talking for about three hours.Look, now that you have the basics of the situation, I hope you understand how important it is that we have this chance to communicate.What can you tell me about the panel you found?”

‘I…I really didn’t have a chance to study it…’Leah’s mind drifted.McKay said something and she missed it.‘What?I’m having a really hard time focusing.’

“You’re no good if you can’t even complete a sentence.Do you think you’ll be able to come back after you rest?”His emotional concern was overlaid with the sense of impatience at her weakness.

‘I’m not weak…I’m—I’m tired.I’ve, I’ve gotta go…’

“Wait, you have to contact Stargate Command.Talk to Colonel Carter and Dr. Jackson.Tell them…”She drifted out for a moment.“They need to look at that panel you found.Tell Colonel Carter…”He thought for a moment, and she began drifting up toward the ceiling.“No, not that,” he said to himself.His obvious attraction to the Colonel in his memory covered any specific thoughts he had.“Just tell them what you’ve told me, and tell them Atlantis base has a lot to report.”

She began to feel that it was urgent to return to her body.She was nearly to the ceiling when she paused.

‘Doctor, will you please tell them not to shoot at me next time?I’ll try to come back soon…’ 

McKay watched her fading into further insubstantiality.He suddenly realized he had not told her any way to reach the super secret Stargate Command.

“Wait—Colonel Carter’s first name is Samantha,” he frowned, “but I know she’s not listed.Try Dr Daniel Jackson or General Jack O’Neill, Colorado Springs, Colorado!”He called out to the vague mist, hoping she’d heard him.He sank into his chair, wondering at the abilities of the Ancients.He finally shook himself and, with a smirk, headed out to wake some people up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah returns to Atlantis and learns more about McKay.

 

Leah sank into her body like sliding into a warm bath.  She relaxed backward into a reclining position, grunting slightly as she unbent her legs.  She stretched out silently for a few minutes, then looked around.  The room was empty, and the clock on the wall showed sometime between 3 and 4 am.  She groaned and climbed to her feet.  Bending over to pick up her mat and blanket was a herculean effort.  She shuffled off to her bunk and fell across it, asleep before she could pull covers over herself.

In the morning, no one disturbed her and she slept until 11.  She woke, noticed she had not moved at all in the night, and that someone had put a blanket over her.  Crawling out of her bunk, she felt every crease of the covers she’d lain on etched into her skin.  Her muscles ached, and she spent several minutes stretching.

It was only after she had worked the kinks out of her body that she recalled what had sent her into her stuperous sleep.  She froze.  She’d spent most of the night conversing with a person in another galaxy.  She began to giggle and had to sit down on her bunk and hold herself for long minutes.  When she finally caught her breath, she realized that even with the information Dr McKay had thrown at her, she had the problem of using a satellite phone to try to contact people who knew nothing about her.  She shook her head.  There had to be a better way.  McKay had mentioned an outpost here on the seventh continent.  She would have to find out what she could about contacting them before attempting a very expensive telephone search.

Leah had a huge breakfast and spent several hours searching the computer network for information about the outpost.  She found references to several, but couldn’t seem to find any way to contact them.  Frustrated, she bundled herself up and went outside.

The blinding whiteness gave her a headache, and she quickly returned.  Pacing the halls, she gave monosyllabic answers to her friends who inquired after her health until her assistant Matt stopped her.

“You’ve got a sat call,” he said.  “Your sister.”

“Thank you.”  Leah hurried to the phone.  “Hey, what ya doing miss bigbucks, calling me like this?”  She smiled as she spoke.

“I heard through dad you had an accident yesterday, I wanted to know you were okay.”

“I’m fine.  It was quite an experience, actually…I would really like to tell you about it, but I don’t know how much I can get into on the phone.  Hey, didn’t you say your new job was in Colorado Springs?”

“Yeah.  I can’t talk about it, though.”

“I know.”  Leah’s mind made a leap.  “Do you know someone named Dr. Daniel Jackson?  Or Samantha Carter?”

Her sister was silent for almost a minute.

“Why would you possibly ask me something like that?  How could you…”  Her voice was strained.

Bells went off in Leah’s mind.  “Yes!  You do.  Thank you, universe!  You have got to tell them something for me.  Tell them… I found a piece of Ancient technology under the ice here, and I’ve been to… Pegasus.  Tell them I have the gene and I spoke with Dr McKay.”  Her mind whirled.  She wanted to say more, but she worried about how unsecure satellite phones might.  The message she had just given her twin sister would be cryptic enough for anyone listening, but she thought it would get a quick response.

“Elf, do you know what you’re saying?”

“I do, sis.  I went there.  I’m not joking.  I promise.  Please, tell them.  I hope they won’t suspect you, but it’s really important.”

“I—I’ll do it.  For you, sis.  I…shit.  I could get in so much…Okay.  I expect you’ll get some heavy attention pretty soon, so I hope you’re ready.”

“I know.  I love you, sis.  Maybe I’ll see you sooner than we expected…”

“Just don’t tell anyone what you just told me.  This is so high sec—“

“I know.  I’ll zip my lip.  Promise.”

Leah broke the connection.  She wondered what time it was in Atlantis.  She wanted to try to go again to be certain she could before the military showed up.  She hurried through the corridors to the quiet room and settled into a comfortable chair.  She’d had enough of the pretzel legs last night.

Quicker than she could have imagined, she was floating into the beautiful city.  She moved around, trying to find the sense of someone who would see her.  She returned to the lab she’d spent so much of the previous night in, but McKay was not there.  She felt a tug of the sense down the hall from the lab, though, and she followed it.

She moved through the walls and into another room.  It was living quarters, with a bed and small sitting room, but the sense was one more room away.  Unthinking of the room which might be adjacent to a bedroom, she went through the wall and into McKay’s shower, with him in it.  She was practically in the same space he was, and he instantly saw or sensed her.  His mental voice was an inarticulate squeak that nearly matched her own.

‘Sorry!’ she cried, fleeing.  She was back in the bedroom, wondering if her white colored energy self would actually turn pink with her embarassment.

As she waited for McKay to emerge, her memory caught up to her, and she found herself analyzing what she’d seen of the scientist.  Glad she hadn’t ‘looked’ down and only had a memory of his bare, wet chest and face, she decided he was really quite attractive.  His stockiness was obviously muscularly based rather than portly.  He had a pleasantly hairy chest, and his surprise had been the first unguarded reaction she’d sensed since first startling him.  She imagined her psuedopsychologically obsessed younger brother would say McKay had been hurt before, and was guarded as a defensive mechanism.

McKay seemed genuinely outraged when he emerged, however.

“Just because you can does not mean you should!”  He exploded.  He had hurriedly donned clothing, which clung to his damp body.

‘Dr McKay, I swear, I didn’t mean to barge in on you like that.  I was eager to find you and didn’t even consider where you might be.  I’m very sorry.’  Leah hurried to address his concern.  ‘I really didn’t see anything.  Don’t—‘  She found herself struggling with the urge to laugh, but knew that would be the very worst possible thing to do.  ‘Don’t feel self-conscious.  I didn’t, um, look… down.’

His face was a mottled red and he seemed at a complete loss for words.

‘I, uh, have a message heading for Carter and Jackson, so I should be speaking with someone from Stargate Command soon.  Did you, hmm, have a chance to work out what I should tell them?’  Leah decided that to ignore the problem might be the best course.  She tried to lead him into business talk, and he smoothly made the transition.  His head rose and he answered briskly.

“I discussed it at some length with Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard last night.  They want to see you.  Rather, Major Sheppard and I will see you and we will relay your words to Dr Weir.”  The flush was lessening in his face as he obviously blocked what he’d experienced from his mind.

‘Very good, Dr McKay,’ Leah said, still feeling as if she needed to hide her amusement.  ‘Shall we?’  McKay marched out the door, and she followed after.  She tried to think about what questions she would need to answer when interviewed by the leader of the expedidtion, but the image of Dr McKay’s wet body and startled squeak kept popping into her mind.  She felt like she was going to bubble over with giggles, and she was choking it back with difficulty.  Twice McKay looked back at her with suspicion in his demeanor, and she hung back from him, not wanting to inadvertantly project her thoughts or to be accused of trying to hear his.  His emotional state was apparent to her, however he tried to mask his embarassment.  He was attempting to forget the incident, but seemed to be having the same problem Leah was.  His emotions would be stable for a bit, then emarassment would whaft out from him, only to be cut off abruptly.

The halls were much more populated as they moved toward what McKay had referred to as the operations tower.  The familiar feeling of a person or people who would be able to see her grew as they moved into the heart of the Atlantis administration.

They entered a conference room, and the feeling permeated Leah completely, then seemed to fade into the background of her awareness.  Three people awaited them, and all three looked past McKay straight at Leah.  The Scottish doctor was there, and Leah decided he had a kind face.  Sheppard was still handsome, his lean frame one she would have found attractive if she hadn’t been on the receiving end of his military defensive training.  

“Ms Elton, I believe you have met Major Sheppard and Dr Beckett,” McKay gestured to the two men.  “May I introduce Dr Elizabeth Weir, head of the Atlantis expedition.  Dr Weir, Ms Elton is here beside me, in the incorporial form I described to you last--“

“I can see her, Rodney, thank you.  Welcome to Atlantis, Ms Elton,”  the woman firmly cut McKay off.

“But, how—“  He stammered.

“I received the gene therapy this morning, complements of Dr Beckett,” she informed him.  McKay seemed crestfallen.  His shoulders slumped and to Leah, his emotional state seemed very childlike in its disappointment.

“Of course you did,” he said quietly.

Leah moved further into the room.  ‘Thank you for welcoming me, Dr Weir.  It’s nice to speak with you as well, Dr Beckett, Major Sheppard.  Please, I’d prefer to be called Leah, at least till I finish my doctorate and get that appelation.’

Dr Beckett seemed to be uncomfortable still, but Major Shappard was guardedly curious in place of being openly hostile as he’d been before.  Weir was calm and confident.  McKay took a seat at the table, and Leah settled over a chair next to him.  He glanced at her and a flush bloomed on his cheeks for a moment with his concern that she would read his mind before his chin lifted as he focused on the moment and he cleared his throat.

“Leah has made contact with Stargate Command and hopes to hear from them shortly, so we need to figure out what our report through her should contain.”

Dr Weir nodded to him.  “Of course, Rodney, however I’d like to spend a few minutes getting to know Leah.  For example, how did you get in contact with Stargate Command so quickly?”

‘Well, I have a message that’s probably going to Colonel Carter.  My sister called me yesterday after she heard about my, uh, incident under the ice, and it kind of clicked, an intuitive leap, I guess.  She just started a job with high security clearance in Colorado Springs.  She didn’t precisely say she was working on the Stargate program, but I told her to tell Daniel Jackson or Samantha Carter that I have the gene, and I found a piece of Ancient technology, that I’ve been to Pegasus and spoken with Dr. McKay.  I figured that should be cryptic enogh if anyone picked up the sat phone transmission, but detailed enough to get the attention of whoever Jordan talks to.’

“Your sister?  That sounds like a strange coincidence,” Weir said, glancing at the others.

“She may have the gene also,”  Dr Beckett said thoughtfully.

Logic clicked in Leah’s mind.  ‘Oh!  Of course, yeah, she does.’

“Just because you’re sisters doesn’t mean she has the gene.  Genetics is more random than you might think, so you can’t possibly know that difinitively.”  McKay scoffed, his need to reassert some superiority pushing him to say it rudely.

‘I didn’t think to tell you before, Doctor, I’m sorry.  We’re identical twins, so she definitely has the gene if I do.’

“Still it seems like an unusual coincidence that you both would end up in contact with these situations.”

‘I don’t believe in coincidences.  Could there be a…well, kind of a psychic component to this Ancient stuff?  Maybe she and I have both been brought to this somehow.’

“We have found a mental component to much of their technology.  I don’t suppose it’s much of a leap to imagine that an effect of the technology might be to attract those with the gene,” Beckett said.  McKay snorted scornfully.

“There is no evidence of Ancient technology having some kind of innate psychic connection,” he said.  Leah turned to face him and concentrated, trying to only let him hear her.

‘Well, there’s some evidence,’ she said into his mind.  He jumped as if she’d goosed him.

“Except that,” he said, his face flushing.

“Except what?”  Sheppard asked.  Leah was relieved to learn she could use her mental voice in a ‘private’ mode.

‘I’m sorry, Major, I don’t want to frighten anyone, but I seem to be able to read thoughts and emotions.  I’m still trying ot understand this and I just ‘spoke’ to Dr McKay in private, so now I know I can do that as well.  Actually, when I first came here and you saw me in the hallway, you seemed to have had some sort of power over me.  We should check that out, see if those who have the gene also have a tendency to psychic abitlites on their own.’

“I’m not psychic,” Sheppard said skeptically.

“I don’t think I am, either,” Dr Beckett said.  Both seemed uncomfortable.  Leah wasn’t discouraged, and her mind raced forward into amazing possibilites.

‘Well, how advanced were these Ancients?’  She asked.

“Far beyond our current comprehension, althought I have been making good headway in discovering—“  McKay began.

‘So they could have learned the science behind manifestation and how the universe responds to the needs of sentient beings.  That’s so cool!’ Leah interrupted, excited.

“What kind of mumbo, new age, crap are you talking about?”  McKay snapped.

‘Hey, our science now is starting to prove some spiritual truths that have been known for millenia. Look, the Ancients were advanced enough to make a machine cause me to astral project, to use the new age term, because of our known science of genetics.  This situation seems to open up a whole new line of scientific questioning, in my opinion.’

“Scientific questioning, not wild guesses involving ridiculous religious ideas,” McKay sneered.

Leah laughed.  ‘Dr McKay, I hope we get to work on this together.  You would keep me honest.’

McKay seemed nonplussed by the comment.  Weir hid a smile behind a cough, and Leah sensed her amusement.

‘Okay, I suppose we should address the matter at hand.  What kind of response can I expect from the military?  Will they shut down the research we’re doing in Antarctica to study this Ancient panel?’  Leah asked.  Sheppard leaned back in his seat, slumping like a teenager.

“With the level of security the SGC employs, I think that’s a valid concern for you to have.  They’ll probably come in and force everyone to pack up and move to McMurdo.  I’m pretty sure they’ll keep you there for questioning, or they may take you to the SGC,” he said.

The discussion went on for nearly an hour.  Leah explained that so far it had been a fairly simple prospect for her to travel to and from Earth and Atlantis.  The only difficulty they ran into was Leah trying to memorize all the information the Atlantis expedition had to report.

‘Okay, then, I’ll try to come back tomorrow at the same time,’  Leah said as they concluded their discussion.  Her head swam with all the new facts she’d learned, and she thought uneasily about sleeping, recalling the descriptions she had of the Wraith.  Sheppard and Beckett left, and a tall man entered and took Weir with him.

Leah turned to McKay.  ‘Dr McKay, I’d like to do some research on those ideas regarding Ancient technology and get back to you with it. You certainly have the theoretical and practical knowledge to help me figure out if I’m just wishful thinking.’

“I’ve been running through some possibilites regarding what you said, actually, and—“

‘Is that what those equations I heard you doing in the back of your mind were about?’

He froze, and she listened and sensed his intellectual curiosity warring with his self-consciousness.

“You can sense different levels of thoughts at the same time?”  He finally asked.

‘Yes, although with you, I don’t really understand all the technical information you’ve got constantly simmering back there.’

“That makes sense.  You’re only a biologist,” he said.

‘Only, huh?’  She chuckled.  ‘I bet I could baffle you with the things I know about marine ecosystems,’ she teased.

“But that’s hardly a science.”

‘Oh yes, those enormous equations of yours are the only science you acknowlege, but consider this; anything can be described mathematically.  That makes your apparent definition of math based, quantifiable science as the only true science useless.’

He frowned.

‘I deal with quantifiable, scientifically gathered evidence every day.  So nya, nya, nya,’ she laughed.

“Oh, okay, very mature, thank you,” he snapped.

She started to laugh again, but stopped when she sensed what he was feeling.  The top layer of his emotions was scoffing and frustrated at her, but ther was a deeper layer which seemed childlike again.  On that level, he was hurt by her teasing.  She suddenly realised the awesome ability she had to sense his innermost self.

‘Doctor, how do you expect me to feel when you negate the profession I am very successful in, essentially calling it inferior?’  She said gently.

That stopped him cold.  His mind whirled and she felt guilt surface in him.  He finally looked squarely at her.

“I’m sorry,” he said.  His voice was brusque, but she sensed how heartfelt the apology was, and she was moved.

‘Thank you,’ she replied.  ‘Now, I’d really like to hear what you started to say about my ideas.’

He slid right back into his comfort zone.  His chin rose and he launched into a technical explaination involving subspace.

‘So I get the feeling that what you just said boils down to ‘maybe, but I need more information,’’ she summarized.

He seemed exasperated, but paused, and she saw him run through all he’d just said in the space of a few seconds.

“Well, um, yes. Essentially,” he agreed.

‘So, what can I do to help?’ she asked.

“I’d like to run some tests using some equipment I found here on Atlantis.”

‘In your lab?’

“Yes.”

‘I’m probably good to stay another hour or so, if you’d like to start today,’ she offered.

His eyes lit up.  “Certainly!”

They went back to his lab and she waited while he set up his laptop and called Ancient panels to life.

“Okay,” he said, rubbing his hands together briskly.  “I’m ready here.  Go ahead and do something…psychic,” his mouth twisted with the word, but his practical mind thought they didn’t have a better word yet.  Leah laughed, and he frowned at her.

‘Well, come on!  I barely know anything about what I’m doing, and you demand I perform on command.  It’s kind of funny.’

She sensed his frustration level rising, but he smiled a tight-lipped smile at her.

‘Okay, there is a real concen in this, though.  The only psychic things I’ve been doing is read minds and emotions.  With you being the only person here, that kind of limits me to you as my subject, unless you can get someone else to volunteer,’ she said seriously.  His discomfort warred with his scientific curiosity.  Curiostiy won.

“You’ve been reading my mind anyway, right?”  He asked.

‘I’ve been mostly getting your emotions because I’ve been tying to respect your privacy.’

“That’s fine.  I’m not an emotional person, and right now I’ll be focused on thinking about the experiment.  Go ahead.”  He turned to his instruments, and she moved closer to him so she could hear his conscious thoughts.  Technical observations of the data he gathered filled his mind.

“I’m hardly getting anything.  Take it up a notch,” he stated.  She pressed closer, concentrating, and found her self in the ’back’ of his mind.  She was amazed he was already extrapolating ideas from the experiment.  Equations, theorems and analyses made her head spin.  She forced herself to relax her own consciousness into an observation mode of thought as she did when conducting her own research.  This went on for several minutes.

“Good.  These readings are steady.  I’ve got enough at this level.  Can you do more?”

‘Beyond where I am in your mind, I think it’s going to get personal.  Is that okay?’

“I said it’s fine, so do it,” he snapped.  She marvelled at the difference it made to be able to sense his fear along with hearing the harsh words.  She reached out her ‘hand’ and touched his shoulder.  She flashed again to the shower, but forced her thoughts to the task at hand.  She felt herself move through the techinical analysis at the back of his mind and felt resistance.  It released with the feeling of a bubble bursting, and she was in a memory.

A beautiful blonde woman Leah knew through McKay’s recognition was his mother, slapped him across the face, hard.

“You’re just like your father!  You’re worthless!”  She yelled, and slapped him again.  The child McKay began to cry, and was slapped a third time.

A pretty blonde woman with glasses frowned at McKay as a young man.  He held a ring in a box.

“We’ve had some fun together, Rodney, but I I don’t want to marry you,” she said.  Leah felt the disbelief, anger, and self-pity he’d felt in that moment. The woman’s dismissal of him felt so much like the end of her own college romance when Marcus abandoned her to her problems and the paparazzi had started following her.

A series of images followed of misery in school with torment from bullies and the ensuing self loathing. She saw how McKay began to use sarcasm and hostility to keep people from getting close enough to cause any more hurt.  

“—said you were never going to get married Ted, that being my roommate was what you wanted.  How am I going to finish my thesis if you move out?”  A bit older McKay asked another man with dark blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.

“I’ve been watching out for you for years, man.  I’m gonna have my own life now.  You’ll just have to take care of yourself.  You’re almost finished with your doctorate, it’s not like I have to keep the bullies from kicking your ass like I did when we were in high school!”

Leah heard the thought the younger McKay had had, ‘why does everyone leave me?’  His emotions swung from a terrible abondonment to sick resignation.

McKay was a young teenager, and his father, an athletic, dark haired man, clapped his son on the shoulder as they stood by a packed car.

“You’ll be fine with your mother.  Just don’t make her mad.  I’ll write, I promise,” the paternal McKay said, and then he drove away.  Leah knew through McKay’s associative memory that he’d never received a single letter.

“All your research here at Area 51 has been invaluable.  After you help the SGC with this little problem of losing their Jaffa in the pattern buffer of the gate, I promise you you’ll go far,” Colonel Simmons said.  McKay smirked in satisfaction, knowing he deserved every reward he was sure to earn.

“—your plane leaves for Russia in an hour,” General Hammond said flatly.

“Wh-sa-Russia?”  McKay stammered, confused.

“Your new assignment is to supervise the development of Russia’s naqueda generator program.”

“I am not going to Russia.  Do you know what the food is like in Russia?”  Again through his association, she vaguely recalled a series of unpleasant incidents in the cold, unfriendly situation at the base in Russia, as well as extreme frustration and stomach upsets due to the food.

Child McKay’s mother slapped his hand away from the serving platter, leaving a red print on his pale wrist.

“Meredith!  I said no, you may not have seconds.  Go to your room!”

She felt the sickeningly familiar feeling of McKay hating himself and his mother, all the while wishing she would just love him. He obviously hated his real first name, though Leah thought it was nice.

McKay as he looked now, heard a male voice talking to someone else.

“It’s okay, he’s just upset ‘cause you’re smarter than him.”  Leah sensed McKay’s face flush hot with anger and humiliation.

Leah drew back from the painful memories she’d encountered.  She pulled her ‘touch’ away from Mckay’s shoulder and moved part way across the lab.  He turned to her in surprise.

“Are you leaving?  You aren’t…glowing as bright as you were,” he said.

She stared at him, uncertain what to do with all this very personal information.  She wanted to wrap him up in herself and make it all better, but she didn’t really know how to.  What could she possibly say to address this intimate knowledge of the prickly scientist?  So much made sense about him now, and so much was like how her own painful inner life had been.

‘I’m just…sad,’ she said quietly.

He frowned in confusion and impatience.  “Sad?”

‘I…when you said go deeper, I went past the back of your mind thoughts into…memories.’

Discomfort rose dramatically, and she backed further away to lessen the impact it had on herself.

‘Doctor, could we leave off the research for a bit and just talk awhile?’  Leah’s mind was churning with the possible consequences of this situation.  He was just like her.  He could understand the alienation and ache of oversensitivity, if he tried.  

“Why?”  His voice was biting.

‘I’m not comfortable knowing so much about you when you don’t know me at all.  Don’t you want to know anything about me?’

“I don’t know that’s necessary,” he said uncertainly.

‘It is to me.  Please.’

He sighed.  “Fine.”  He pulled his chair out and sat down.

‘My father is a U.S. Senator,’ she began.  He seemed startled.  ‘He was a veterinarian when I was little, then he got involved in local politics.  He’s a very charismatic and eloquent man.  There’s been talk about a presidential campaign.’  She thought about him for a moment.  ‘So life was pretty normal for us until my sister and I turned 11.  Our younger brother was 4.  Home became campaign headquarters, and I…I withdrew.  I became very shy and studious.  Dad was always the one who bandaged our scraped knees and celebrated our victories. Mom was...distant. She was active in all the social groups and events around Denver. She's distantly related to the Kennedys and I think it was she who pushed Dad into running for office. She just always seemed too busy for us. It never seemed to bother Jage but I just wanted her to be like the other moms I knew; loving and supportive. And after Dad started into goverment he just didn't seem to have time for us anymore.’  

“Why do you call her Jage?  Your sister’s name is Jordan, right?”  McKay asked.

‘Oh, that’s a family thing.  She’s Jordan Jean- Jayjay.  Run it together enough and you get Jage.  I’m Leah Francesca—Elleff: Elf.  Just pet names, you know?’

She let her mind wander, wanting to give back some of her own associative memories, wanting to let him see they were alike, without scaring him with the knowledge she had gained.  ‘I always loved animals.  I figured I’d be a vet like dad.  Then we went to Chicago, to the Shedd Aquarium.  The array of marine life there is astonishing.  I’m from a landlocked state, and what I saw there positively enchanted me.  Thus marine biology.’

‘I…fell in love in college.  He was in the master’s program, a TA.  Unfortuantely, Dad began his Senate campaign at that time.  His competitor tried to dig up dirt and had photographers follow me for a while.  That scared my boyfriend off.  It was the first time I’d had a relationship when my sister wasn’t around.  She went into the Army after high school.  It was a really rough time for us.  You know, the first boy who every asked me out had me mistaken for her?  That pretty much set the stage for most of my romantic encounters.’

McKay stared at her, and she sensed his complete uncertainty.  He obviously had no idea how to react to her confessional monologue.

“I don’t know why you’re telling me this,” he said.

‘I’ve always thought that if people understood each other better, they would function better together, in love, friendship, or professionally.  Well, now I have the chance to understand others more than I ever thought I would, but the only way you’ll understand me is if I tell you,’ she replied.  But she felt her energy waning.  ‘However, I’m running out of steam altogether.  I’ll try to come tomorrow at the same time I came today.  I’ll…wait in the lab, here.’

“Oh!  Alright.  I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

‘If I can’t make it tomorrow, I’ll try every day at this time.  I don’t know how long the Air Force will want to check me out for before they let me come back.’

McKay nodded, and Leah let the feeling that was drawing her away take her.  She opened her eyes back at the research base.  Grabbing pen and paper, she made notes on everything she could recall about what those in Atlantis had wanted her to report to the SGC.

She found herself hungry and tired.  She wondered what this out of body experience was doing to her body chemistry.  She decided it would be good to have as much data as possible about her experiences, just in case.  She made more notes, this time about what she had seen, and how she felt. She went to the kitchen and ate the first thing she laid hands on, then yawned hugely and went back to her bunk. She fell asleep the moment she put her head down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell ‘The Secret’ was big when I wrote this? Ha!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah arrives at Stargate Command.

Several hours later she was awakened by shouts and panic as the US military arrived in response to her call to Jordan. Everything happened so fast after that Leah was shocked.  The military personnel had arrived with heavy equipment and by the time she had been questioned via secure satellite phone the device from under the ice had been removed and was on its way toward McMurdo thence to be flown to the United States.  Leah herself was packed into a helicopter with one backpack of personal items and sent after it less than an hour later.  All she was allowed with the science team was a few moments under guard to say “Please compile this round of observations and email me the data.  Then pack out on schedule next week, or whenever they make you leave.”  Though unsure whether she’d be able to get to her email for the data which would enable her to finish her doctoral thesis, she hoped she would.

None of the military people who escorted her seemed at all forthcoming with information, so Leah kept quiet as she was herded from helicopter to plane.  The aircraft she was to fly on was a huge Air Force transport plane.  She was taken up a staircase into the forward section and shown an uncomfortable looking seat that looked like it was from a 1979 airliner and had been in continual use since then.  She sighed and sat down with a regretful memory of the cushy first class seat she had splurged on for her flight from Los Angeles to New Zealand.  From things Jordan had said about the Air Force, she had a bad feeling that this would be a direct flight rather than the multi-leg journey she had taken down to Antarctica as a civilian.  She stowed her backpack above her seat and passed on the shoulder straps in favor of the standard seatbelt. One of her escorts settled into the seat across the aisle.  She studied his rank insignia but couldn’t recall what it indicated his rank to be.  She figured she could just call him ‘airman’.  She knew that was a generic address for members of the Air Force.  He remained alert until the plane noisily took flight, then his head dropped forward.  When Leah unfastened her seatbelt to reach her backpack, he snapped awake and kept an eye on her as she rummaged inside for her earplugs.  When she had rebuckled her seatbelt and had set her backpack on the seat next to her so she wouldn’t have to get up again to get into it, his head nodded off again within a minute.  Leah was impressed by the man’s ability to sleep so quickly and wake at need, but also realized that the reflex was likely from combat experience.  She decided to be as still and quiet as she could to let him rest.  A glance at her watch told her she was an hour early for her Atlantis check in, and though she really didn’t know if she could even leave her body when she was in motion, her pulse quickened as she thought of seeing the beautiful city again.

Leah admitted to herself how much she had enjoyed talking with Dr McKay.  His mind was fascinating: a constant whirl of technical analysis and ideas leaping forward.  She had no doubt why he was in charge of the science division on what she figured had to be a very important expedition.  Her own mind was capable of intuitive leaps regarding interpersonal interactions; she simple knew why or how people would act.  Everyone’s mind could put those pieces together to some degree, but she had thought herself really good at it until she’d seen McKay’s brilliance at making leaps of technical theory. She had vaguely been able to tell that his leaps were based on a vast knowledge base, and she found it incredible.

Figuring she likely had several hours before anyone would check on her if she seemed asleep, and thinking reassuringly of the double handful of power bars she’d snagged for sustenance, she decided to try to go back to Atlantis.  She took several deep breaths and tried to get into a comfortable position. Clearing her mind as though for meditation, she relaxed for a timeless space, then concentrated on the spires of the city on the ocean and she flew.  In what felt like moments, she was hanging over the city.  Playfully, she experimented at flying around the buildings, then zooming up and over.  It felt like a wonderful dream.  She only wished she had someone to share it with.  On that thought, she headed into one of the spires, wandering through dark halls for a while before she decided to go find people.

Leah could tell when she was getting closer to the more populated areas by the sense of whispering white noise in her mind.  Knowing she was probably still early for her appointment with Dr McKay, she followed the sense of familiarity, wondering who it would bring her to.  As she drew nearer, the halls became more populous, and she skirted around people as they passed her, not wanting to pass through anyone.  The fleeting thoughts she caught as they went by were random fragments, and mostly indistinct.  She finally entered the room the sense led her to, and it was set up with pads on the floor and Major John Sheppard was there sparring with a lithe mocha skinned woman.  They both held two sticks and the woman was obviously the teacher as she danced around him with the controlled grace of a lioness.  Her own entrance must have distracted him, and with a quick few clacks of the sticks they used, the woman knocked Sheppard onto his back and held him there.

‘Sorry!’ Leah said immediately when he looked up at her.

“Not fair.  Leah, that glowy thing from Earth is here, she distracted me,” Sheppard told the woman.

“It does not matter what occurs, you must maintain concentration,” she replied, helping him to his feet.  Sheppard turned to Leah.

“What are you doing?  I thought you wanted to work with McKay,” his voice was harsh with his disbelief at that possibility.

‘I’m early and didn’t want to disturb him.  I really am sorry I disturbed you, I’ll go now,’  she backed away.

“She’s leaving,” Sheppard said to the other woman in a low aside.

“Perhaps you might introduce me?” The woman’s speech patterns were oddly formal, but Leah liked what she sensed of the woman’s personality.  She seemed very calm and confident without a hint of arrogance.

“Oh, sure.  Leah, this is Teyla, she’s a native of this galaxy who is working with us on behalf of her people, the Athosians,”  Sheppard said in his slow drawl.  “Teyla, the glowy light person you can’t see is Leah, a scientist from Earth who somehow comes here to distract and communicate with us.”

‘Gee, thanks,’ Leah said to him.  ‘Tell her I hope I get to meet her in person someday.’

“She says she’d like to meet you sometime,” Sheppard dutifully repeated.  Teyla smiled in Leah’s general direction.

“I would like that also,” Teyla said, nodding.

‘Cool.  I’ll let you get back to having your ass kicked,’ Leah said to Sheppard.  His lip curled and he did a little head-tilt-nod at her.  She left the room, deciding it couldn’t hurt to check and see if McKay might be in his lab and ready to talk with her. She looked around in the hallway she found herself in and realized she had no idea which way to go.  Briefly she considered going back in and asking Sheppard, but she dismissed that.  The man was insufferable.  She could still hear his thoughts, muted a little with the distance between them, but still more distinct than any others she had encountered.  She rose up, passing through many, many floors of rooms before she was outside again, above the city.  She thought about how she had found McKay’s lab the last time.  She’d merely wanted to go there and then she’d just gone.  She tried to relax and thought of the lab, recalling the tables and computers, the Ancient panels McKay was so fascinated with.  McKay.  She thought about his bravado, the coarse persona he affected, and the insecure, damaged person it hid.  She recalled how he had felt to her as she was immersed in his mind, the familiarity of his struggles, the similarity to how she had always felt. She saw his raised chin, his looking down his nose at her as he scoffed at her ideas of the possibilities of Ancient technology.  She saw again the confusion in his clear blue eyes as she’d tried to show him something of herself.  

Suddenly, Leah found herself in a large, airy room.  People were seated at tables, and they were eating.  And the person Leah was behind was suddenly familiar.  She’d have to be careful of her thoughts if they could draw her this easily to McKay.  Most of the other people in this cafeteria room sat in groups, but he sat alone at his table.  He was focused on his food, shoveling it in mechanically. When he was almost finished, she moved around until she was in his line of sight.  He took one more bite as he looked at her.  He seemed to be exasperated as well as excited to see her there.

‘Hi. I’m early. The military showed up and packed the Ancient device and me into a plane and I’m on my way back to the States.  Once we land, I don’t know when they’ll let me come back, so…  I’m early,’ Leah said apologetically.

“Well, let’s get back to my lab, then,” he said.  He left the tray on the table, and Leah sensed one of the cafeteria staff’s annoyance as she followed him out. He truly didn’t seem to notice all the little ways he rubbed people wrong.

“Now, I’ve analyzed some of the data I recorded when you were here last time, and I want to find something else to test.  What was that—“ he scowled and gestured with is hand in a dismissive wave. “That ‘manifestation’ crap you were talking about?”

‘Well, the idea is that when a sentient being wants something and visualizes it in a positive way, there is some energy in the universe that responds to that need. So maybe the Ancients—‘

“No-no-no, that’s stupid, but you made me think of something better.  There is a mental component to Ancient technology, and maybe need or intensity can increase the response.  You seem to have some ability with this technology, so maybe you can work on varying your intensity so I can test this,” McKay ducked into his lab and grabbed instruments, setting up attachements to the Ancient panel to the right of his desk.  “This panel has access to the environmental and practical controls for this room; lights, heat, cooling, the door, etcetera.  See if you can get it to respond to you.” He ordered, then stood waiting impatiently.  Leah sensed his need to understand what was going on with her and the urgent desire to learn everything he could about Ancient technology, so she ignored his rudeness and went to the panel.  It was totally foreign.  There were symbols there, but they were gibberish to her.  She decided to relax and go with a purely instinctive tack.  She looked at McKay.  He had a light sheen of sweat on his forehead from the energetic walk from the cafeteria and chose to make the room cooler.  She imagined how it felt to stand beneath a vent with cool air blowing down on her skin, tried to project that sensation to the machine before her.

“AC.  Good.  Down two degrees since you started.  Okay, so be more intense about it.  Make it drop faster,” McKay demanded.  He was scanning the data he was recording and his mind was racing.  She imagined that his brain was heating up and she had to make it cooler in the room to cool it off.  She tried to make herself really believe it, but she could tell from McKay’s reaction that it wasn’t doing what he wanted.  She focused and concentrated on a memory of the sensation of laying in a snow drift, hiding from the kids in the neighborhood and their snowballs.  The sun was setting and it was getting really cold.  She recalled how Jordan had been involved in the snowball fight, that she’d been laughing and running with the others.  Leah was afraid, and she didn’t want to come out until she knew the other kids were gone.  She had burrowed down into the snow, and eventually, her thoughts drifted as she began to doze.  Jordan had found her and shaken her awake, forced her to her feet and marched her home.  

Leah let the memory go and noticed that McKay was slumped forward over his laptop, no longer thinking of the test, but instead his mind was sluggishly concerned about not getting hit with anymore snowballs.  His breath came in clouds and Leah started.

‘Dr McKay?’  She called.  ‘Dr McKay?  Wake up!’  He didn’t respond, and she looked to the panel and realized that she really needed the room to warm up fast.  She sent that need straight into the machine, and in moments she saw the reading on McKay’s screen climb.  ‘Dr McKay!’ She called again.  He sat up, shaking his head.

“What did you do?” He asked.  He ignored her as she tried to explain and delved instead into his data.  He was fascinated.  “My God, you made it freezing in here!  And now you’re—oh, level the temperature off at 70.  I’m-I’m sweating!”  She focused and the room seemed to normalize.  She could tell he was thoroughly engrossed in the information he’d recorded, and so she backed off and just watched and listened to his amazing mind.  He made faces as he worked, and his fingers curled in interesting patterns between typing.  She was really enjoying the show when she felt an urgent need to leave.

‘I’ll come back as soon as I can, Doctor!’ She called as she was drawn back to someone shaking her body.  It was the airman from across the aisle.

“We’re landing in 10 minutes,” he informed her.  She caught him giving her a look in askance that she slept way too heavy.  For a moment, she could almost hear him think it.  Then her hunger caught up with her.  She pulled out her power bars and wolfed down three before they landed.

Jordan was with the group of Air Force people who collected Leah from the plane.  Leah took a deep breath as she paused at the bottom of the stairs when she disembarked.  The evening was cool and the air dry and thin and she smiled at the familiarity of it.  Colorado was like no place else.  She shifted her backpack more securely upon her shoulder and then exclaimed when she saw her twin.  Jordan grinned and approached.  The two hugged and Leah relaxed a little with the familiar sense of being more when they were together than the sum of their individual selves.

The two slipped into twin speak, the half code, half gibberish sounds language they’d developed as children and refined as they aged, rapidly discussing the situation.  Jordan told Leah to be honest about everything but not to mention Leah’s history of drug abuse since it would make her a potential security risk. Jordan wanted desperately to grill Leah about Atlantis but restrained herself. She hoped to be included on the debriefing, but was sure that no matter what Leah would tell her everything later.

At the upper levels of Cheyenne Mountain Leah was taken aside and asked to sign all the non-disclosure agreements that the military could come up with.  She would be investigated for a security check but would be granted special temporary access if she signed.  She did, but wondered how they would have excluded her if she had refused.  She was the only contact they had with their people in Atlantis.  Of course, they had the device from under the ice in Antarctica so could probably get it to work on someone else now.  She sighed at the thought that it might be Jordan.  She’d really been enjoying having a life all her own for the last few years, and she knew that intertwining again with Jordan would bring complications.  They chatted about family as they rode the elevator down far enough for Leah’s ears to pop.  Jordan showed her to some kind of guest quarters, then started asking more probing questions about personal parts of Leah’s life which could be relevant to her security clearance.

Jordan pushed, asking if Leah would have a problem passing a drug test. Leah paused only a moment, sensing that Jordan would never believe the truth, that she hadn’t touched anything since her detox.  Jordan was figuring Leah had to be a pothead, so Leah complained about not being able to get the stuff while down in Antarctica.  Then, unable to stop herself from needling her sister, she asked Jordan about getting her some. Jordan of course refused, but the dance played out as Leah expected. She repeated it with Jordan's expectation of her promiscuity, asking about the various men she had met thus far. It was obvious from Jordan's responses that she hadn’t been sleeping with any of them. The twins were becoming more alike as the aged, Leah’s wild youth effectively having ended, Jordan’s never having started. Leah doubted that Jordan would believe her if she tried to tell her how drastically she herself had changed in these divisive years. Leah had had many fewer lovers in her life than she let and even led Jordan to know about.

Leah was given a few minutes to freshen up then Jordan escorted her to a room with a large table and three people.  Jordan introduced Brigadier General O’Neill,  Lt Colonel Carter, and Dr Daniel Jackson.  The General asked Jordan to stay for the debriefing.

Leah told her story.  They allowed her to speak uninterrupted until she got to the end, then went back through the narrative again, each asking questions clarifying points or bringing forth information she’d forgotten.  Colonel Carter was focused on the technical aspects and also kept asking for clarifiers about Leah’s acceptance and interest in working with McKay.  She was obviously incredulous that Leah actually liked him.  Leah repeatedly received the impression that none of them liked the lead Atlantis scientist, and she was confused and defensive about that.  She felt like she spent more time defending him than anything. By the time she’d been through the tale four times, she felt completely wrung out.  

Leah sensed Jordan’s growing concern about her, and her twin’s relief when Dr Jackson called a halt to the grilling.

“I think we have all the information she can give us right now, don’t you?” Daniel said.  Leah sagged back in her seat.

“Sure,” O’Neill agreed.  Carter still looked at Leah quizzically, but Leah ignored her.  Jordan rose and Leah climbed to her feet with her.  “Guest quarters, Captain.  We’ll…” he paused and sighed.  “ _Talk_ more tomorrow.”  Leah grimaced and felt his frustration with the sentiment. Obviously a man of action who was unsatisfied by being sidelined, even through advancement to leader of this whole incredible program. “And Ms Elton?” O’Neill stopped her as she headed for the door. “No little visits to Atlantis until we figure more out about what’s going on.” Leah felt tears prick her eyes, a sure sign she was too exhausted to make the journey anyway. She nodded, and Jordan hustled her out of the room and back to the quarters she’d been assigned to.

“Eh-tu?” Jordan asked, inquiring in twin speak if she was okay.  Leah flopped onto the bed and nodded.

“Just—“ she yawned.  “Tired.”  In the quiet of the room, both could hear when Leah’s stomach growled.  “And hungry.”

“I’ll bring you something from the mess,” Jordan said.  Leah nodded, but was asleep before Jordan left the room.  Jordan brought her twin various foods that would keep and left the tray on the desk.

The next morning, Jordan came to Leah’s room to wake her with 45 minutes until their briefing and was surprised to find her sister awake, dressed, and making notes on her laptop.

“Hey.  I didn’t expect you to be up,” Jordan commented as she entered.

“I’ve had big eye off and on all summer.  I know to set an alarm,” Leah replied absently.

“Big eye?”

“Insomnia from too much daylight.”

“Ah.”  Jordan came over to look at what Leah was working on.

“Just finishing a report including all the extra info they dragged out of my memory yesterday,” Leah told her.  “Give me five minutes.”  Jordan sat on the bed and waited.

“So—“ Leah began.

“Buttons? Sew buttons?”

Leah sighed.  She’d forgotten her twin’s habit.

“Breakfast?” Leah asked instead.  Jordan indicated the door and they walked together to the cafeteria.  Leah loaded up on fresh food, exclaiming over the variety.  One of the airmen serving smiled and asked where she’d been.

“On the Ice, man. Airdrops rarely include real eggs or delicate fruits and veggies, and if they do, the City Mice tend to keep it at Mactown--um, McMurdo.  I’ve been in the field for three months!” Leah grinned as she spoke.  The airman gave her an extra scoop of eggs.  She got the impression he rarely felt appreciated.  She winked and went to a table.  A few minutes later, the cook’s assistant came out to the table and set a glass of orange juice by her plate.

“Just squeezed it,” he said, smiling.  She took a sip and gave an exaggerated ‘yum’.

“Thanks.  I’m Leah,” she put her hand out to him.

“Corporal Ken Slate,” he said and shook.  He stood there for a minute, then jerked his thumb over his shoulder.  “I better get back.”

Leah nodded.  “Thanks again.”

“Sure thing.”

Leah turned back to her meal and caught Jordan staring at her.

“What?” Leah asked.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Jordan said.  Leah felt her face heat.

“I was being nice.  You might try it sometime,” Leah muttered.  She finished her food in silence, then stood without looking at Jordan and put her tray away.  She saw the Corporal looking at her as she left, and she smiled and waved.  She sensed Jordan following behind her as she headed toward the briefing.

Leah was extra sensitive to Jordan through the briefing, and she noticed an interesting amount of tension between her twin and the General.  She smiled wryly and continued to answer the questions posed to her by the group.  There was an additional member of the inquirers this time, another scientist named Dr Lee.  He often couched the ideas they were discussing in pop culture terms, and Leah enjoyed his asides. As the briefing was wrapping up, Leah posed a question she’d been thinking.

“So what are you doing with that device I found?” Leah asked.

“It’s being studied.  We aren’t allowing any known gene carriers near it until we understand it more,” Carter answered.

“So…whatever it did to me, it hasn’t done it to anyone else?”

“We think it’s because you have the Ancient gene that it responded to you to begin with.  It doesn’t seem to be emitting any radiation or signal of any kind. But that reminds me, they want you in the infirmary for medical tests to see if they can figure out what the device did,” Carter smiled, and Leah got a sense that she was taking some guilty pleasure in informing Leah that she would soon be a pincushion. Then a mischievous light lit her eyes and she looked at Jordan.  “They want you for a control in the tests.  The medical staff is thrilled to have identical twins to play with.”  Both twins groaned, but Jordan obediently dragged Leah over to their medical facilities.

~~~SGA~~~

They were told to change into gowns then wait when they arrived. Jordan took control of the conversation as they had blood drawn and vitals taken.

“How do you think Sheppard is doing commanding the team out there?” She asked in twin speak. “It must have been a shock to have their Colonel die right off like that.”

“Weir is in overall command though, right?” Leah asked.

“Of course, I meant in his military position.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t spend a lot of time with him. He came across as a little dim-witted.” She made a face. Jordan scoffed.

“Hardly. I’ve peeked at the files. He’s got a genius level IQ. He’s a bit of a rebel, though. Almost got demoted for some crazy heroic rescue attempt.”

Leah caught on immediately. Jordan hoped to dangle a handsome bad-boy in front of her to try to counteract how focused she’d been on McKay. It might have worked…when she was 16. She sighed.

“I hope he’s a better pilot than hand to hand fighter. Last I saw him he was getting bitch-slapped around the gym by a woman. A short woman. In a skirt.” She couldn’t help herself, adding the details to make the defeat sound even worse. Jordan frowned, confused.

“Training can look odd from the outside,” she dismissed Leah’s observation. “And yeah, he’s an awesome pilot. But you didn’t like him, huh? I figured he was your type.”

“I really don’t think you know as much about me as you think,” Leah said softly in plain language as the doctor approached. She felt her sister studying her after that, but scans, needles, and more scans filled the remainder of their day, so they didn’t get a chance to talk again until nearly dinner time.

The doctors were conferring about whether they needed anything else from the twins before they cut them loose. Leah took the oportunity to feel Jordan out on what she had sensed in the briefing regarding General O’Neill.

“I don’t see any other army folks about,” Leah started.

“Na. Jarheads and flyboys mostly. And squints,” Jordan replied. They sat facing one another on two beds.

“So how does the chain of command work, then?  Is General O’Neill your boss?  You two seem more like friends than honcho and peeon.”

Jordan made a scoffing sound and rolled her eyes at Leah’s choice of words.  “Technically, I am on loan to the Air Force, and anyone of higher rank than I am should be accorded the appropriate respect.  But I’ve been here so long they treat me more like they treat the civillian scientists.  I’m pretty friendly with a lot of the personnel here.”

“But you’re actually friends with Jackson and Carter and O’Neill,” Leah pressed.  Jordan shrugged.

“Sure.  I’d say I’m friends with all of SG-1.  You haven’t met Teal’c. I’ve worked a lot with him and Daniel on translations and stuff.”

“Carter is really beautiful. Is there something going on with her and O’Neill?”

“That would be against policy, but no.  She has a boyfriend, Agent Barrett.”

“So what about you?”

“What about me?” Jordan’s voice was flat.  Leah cocked an eyebrow.

“O’Neill?”

Jordan’s gaze hardened. “Veh,” she said, using twin speak to end the topic.  Leah grinned impishly and nodded, giving her sister a knowing look that she could see made Jordan’s blood boil.  They lapsed into silence, waiting for the next battery of tests.

~~~SGA~~~

The sisters had meals together in the cafeteria. Sometimes others joined them, but they mostly ate alone together. Conversations always started out well, talking about the program, about Jordan’s work, about some funny thing Leah had read or seen. Somehow, Leah couldn’t stop herself from bringing McKay up whenever any chance came. She pumped her sister for information about him, puzzled by the extreme negative reaction she consistently got.

“He said ‘If you were only blonde,’ then dismissed me! How can that be taken in any other way?” Jordan demanded.

“I’m sure he was joking,” Leah said.

“That is not a humorous man.”

“You just don’t know the kind of life he’s had. It’s not like he’s got the best social skills. I bet he thought he was being funny. Or he didn’t realise he was saying it out loud.”

Jordan snorted. “Someone that brilliant should be able to learn social skills, Elf.”

“He is brilliant, isn’t he?” Leah grinned.

Jordan sighed and changed the subject. “Have you called mom and dad? They should know that you’re stateside again, even if you can’t say where.”

Leah made a face. “No. It isn’t Christmas or anyone’s birthday. It would shock them if I called any other time.”

~~~SGA~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cringe at the style of writing I used so long ago, but I want to share this and if I wait until I get it beta’d by a real beta reader and rewrite it I don’t know if it would ever be posted. 
> 
> I always thought Sam had much better chemistry with Agent Barrett than she did with the boyfriend she got in canon, and since I have plans for Jordan, I needed to skip the Jack and Sam UST. 
> 
> Shout out to andriabow who left an encouraging comment which reminded me to get another chapter up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time at Stargate Command, Leah’s power evolves, some Daniel Jackson, and a visit to Atlantis after The Storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know jack all about how getting a science doctorate works. Please forgive my fictional account.

Jordan was allowed to get Leah’s email forwarded to her, and so Leah got to work on her thesis with the final batch of data her team had sent her. She spent hours each day double checking her information and conclusions, and it came together quickly. She finished it and put it through processing to get it mailed out to her advisory board at Tamag, as Texas A&M at Galveston was known. There wasn’t much for her to do after that, and she began to spend time wandering around, getting a feel for the people on the base. She began to suspect that the feelings and intuitive leaps she was having were more than that, and she enjoyed listening to people as she tried to catch what they were thinking. Skills and abilities tended to increase with use, so she practiced. When her head started to ache from too much of that practice, she changed her clothes and got directions to the gym. Headphones on, she began to run on an open treadmill. Her mind wandered as she enjoyed stretching her legs into a familiar rhythm. This underground base was interesting enough, but she missed the sun. Fresh air, even painfully cold air would be wonderful to feel again. The beloved smell of the ocean was surely denied her for some while. But when she could go to Atlantis she’d at least see it, along with the elegant spires of the city, and the blue, shadowed eyes of Dr McKay, hiding all his fears and pains so vehemently… Leah dropped into a daydream of running with him along the long piers she’d seen at the edges of the city. He’d complain, of course. But she would cajole gently until he smiled. A real smile, not the smirk, or the sneer, or the tight little lip stretch he seemed to think was a smile. And they’d run in companionable silence, enjoying the sea breeze, and afterwards, a shower to soak and…

Leah brought herself back to her current location and situation abruptly. This was not the place for a daydream to devolve into a sexual fantasy. The man was in another galaxy, but the way thoughts of him affected her made her flush. She slowed her pace, walking for several minutes, then went off to find a cold shower.

~~~SGA~~~

Leah sat dejectedly in the cafeteria. Her new friend Corporal Slate was off today. She knew it was for security reasons, but she hated being confined to the base.  Jordan was out somewhere with O’Neill, and Leah still didn’t know most of the other people well yet.  Worse still, she was feeling totally alone, missing her interactions with McKay, and again her hormones were tapping insistently on her shoulder as her thoughts lingered on him.  She nearly flew out of her seat when someone tapped her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.  I just wanted to ask if I could join you,” Daniel exclaimed, looking sheepish.  Leah laughed.

“It’s alright.  I just…I had just had the thought that my…emotions were tapping me on the shoulder, and then you did!  Please, Dr Jackson, sit down,” she said.  He did, setting a tray with a sandwich and a cup of coffee on the table.

“I know I’ve asked before, but, really, call me Daniel.”

“Well, thanks, Daniel.  I appreciate the company.  Jordan is the only person I really know, and she has her job to do, so I don’t want to monopolize all her time.”

The handsome man nodded and tucked into his food.  “So how are you doing?” He asked between bites.  She decided to test the idea she’d been kicking around and focused her mind to answer mentally.

‘Fine, just bored,’ she sent.  He nodded.  He hadn’t been looking at her when she replied.  She knew what he was going to reply before he said it.

“That’s understandable.  It’s unfortunate you have to be stuck on the base while your security clearance is checked.”  She read the associated memory he had of when he’d been brought into the Stargate program years before.

“At least they let you get right to work when you arrived.  I’m not even allowed to go back to Atlantis until they’re done,” she said aloud.

“How—how did you know about that?” He stared at her, his sandwich in his hand, though forgotten.

‘I think that device made me telepathic,’ she sent, keeping her mouth firmly closed as she did.  His sandwich dropped from his hand, landing with a little plop on the table, the tuna salad wet.

“That’s-that’s incredible! H-H-How long have you known? What’s it like?  Does JJ know?”  His verbal response stuttered, but his mind just ran on and on with questions.  She bit her lip and smiled at him.

“I wasn’t sure until just now,” she confided.  “Jordan and I have always had a very strong sense of each other,” she shrugged, “a twin thing, you know.  But I’ve been getting a stronger and stronger sense of people’s motivations and emotional states, and I figured you wouldn’t freak if I tested it on you.”  She grinned.  “Freak bad, anyway.  You’re kind of freaking, with all the questions running through your mind and stuff.”

“This-this is just so—“  She smiled and sipped her lemonade, amused by the way his mouth couldn’t keep up with his mind.  “Oh!” He exclaimed, and got up.  He looked at her, then headed out of the cafeteria.  She could tell he wanted her to come with him, but he hadn’t said it, so she hesitated.  

Daniel came back into the room and up to her table.  “Are you coming?” He asked.  She grinned.

“You never said it out loud, you know,” she told him as she rose.  He did a classic double take.

“Of course I did, I—“ He stopped.  “Never mind.  We need to go see Sam.”

Leah halted.  She hadn’t felt all that comfortable with Colonel Carter since she’d arrived, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend much time with the woman poking and prodding her about her new ability.  Daniel stopped when he saw her face.  Leah looked away.

“She’s really not so bad, you know,” he said quietly. “She just doesn’t see what you see regarding McKay.”

Leah looked at him, and he raised his eyebrows.  He was so gentle and compassionate, and he was really trying to make her feel better about Carter.  

“It’s hard to listen to all the criticism of him.  He’s been really wonderful with me.”

Daniel sighed, considering.  “Well, when he was here the first time, he almost got a member of our team killed, and he has been very rude to Sam pretty much whenever they’ve worked together. That makes her reaction more understandable, doesn’t it?”  He ducked his head to look at her over his glasses.  She smiled.  He was adorable.

“I guess so.  And it doesn’t really matter anyway.  I have to have someone check this new ability out, and I’d rather not go to the medical staff again, so…lead on, MacDuff,” she gestured for him to precede her, and he smiled, nodding.

~~~SGA~~~

“So how does it work, actually?”  Carter asked her when they’d explained why they had invaded her lab.  Leah shrugged.

“Just like it does when I’m projected to Atlantis; I get impressions of feelings and mood pretty constantly, and emphatic thoughts I hear spontaneously.  If I try at all I can pick up anyone’s surface thoughts who are close by.  I haven’t tried to read anyone deeper like I did Dr McKay.”

“That must have been fun,” Carter muttered.  Leah gritted her teeth.

“It was very informative, actually. I don’t think many people get to see anything of who he really is behind his protections,” Leah snapped. Daniel put a hand lightly on her back, and she took a deep breath.  “So, I expect I could read anyone on a deeper level if I get close.  I had to—touch him to really go deep.”

“Touch him?  You were incorporeal,” Carter protested.

“Well, it was like touching him, I got close and reached out and I could see some of my glowy cloud right against his shoulder, okay?”

Carter twitched her head back at Leah’s defensiveness.  “Sorry, I’m just trying to understand.”

Leah looked away and nodded.  “Some people seem louder than others, and in Atlantis, like I said before, people with the gene can see me, and Major Sheppard was exceptionally loud to me.  I don’t know if that’s because he’s what Dr Beckett referred to as a natural carrier or what.”

Carter ran scans of Leah’s brain, and eventually Leah had to go down to the infirmary to get more blood drawn and further medical scans done.  The next day Leah was to be run through a battery of tests by Carter and Jackson, but when she arrived at Sam’s lab, it was dark.  She went to find Daniel.

“Oh, yeah, she had to go off-world, so I-I’ll do those tests we talked about,” Jackson told her.  She sensed his concern for Carter but chose not to pry for more information.  He made her do all the classic telepathy tests, which she scored perfectly on, then moved on to more intense testing.

“So let’s try having you go deeper, like you said you did with McKay,” Daniel said.  Leah nodded.  

“Let’s see what I can do without touching you first, yes?”  Leah asked.  He nodded.

“What am I thinking about?”

“Blue jell-o, and how much Sam likes it.”

“Now?”

“A symbol of some kind, like a squiggle in an oval. You’re associating it with…Teal’c and Apophis, and you have positive reaction to the former and—wow, loathing for the latter.” Leah leaned away from the strength of Daniel’s emotion.

“Um, sorry.  And now?”

“Oh!  That sci-fi show, Wormhole Xtreme.  God, that show is awful.”

Daniel laughed.  “Now?”

“The pyramids.  As landing platforms for spaceships? Hey, that really happened? Cool.”

“Okay, so let’s try taking one further.  To start—“ He concentrated, and she saw a scaly alien.  Her head jerked as she realized it was a real memory.

“I see him,” she said.  

“What’s his name, how did I meet him?”

“Chaka, and you met him when…he snatched you. You—you’re thinking in a foreign language now,” she said. She concentrated, then imitated the sounds she ‘heard’ as best she could.  “And that means…water is many…miles? To the east.”  He smiled at her.

“Now I’m getting a history lesson about Chaka’s people.  Thanks, but that’s more Jordan’s purview.”

“Alright then—“

“Look, you’re just feeding me with this.  I don’t feel any…difficulty at all.  Any other ideas?”  She interrupted.  Daniel shrugged and nodded, thinking.

“McKay was taking readings on some of the Ancient equipment and I…I ended up just kind of rifling through his memories when he needed me to do more intense ‘psychic stuff’.  I don’t know how else we could use this,” she said.

“Hmm, well, I’m not sure that command would want you looking at my memories,” Daniel prevaricated, and she caught a few memories flashing through his thoughts which looked dark and chaotic and frightening.  Then there was one which was full of light and peace, and she was drawn to it.  There was another person, a feminine energy, and she was offering enormous possibility to him. Leah felt Daniel stretch in his memory, his mind opening like a lotus, felt his self-discovery of each petal, felt the peace that settled onto him as he rose up and flew, unbounded by all mortal constraints. Leah’s sense of self shrank as she saw how Daniel had expanded into some kind of infinite space, and her vision clouded, darkened, and she found herself on the floor, looking up at Daniel’s concerned face.

“What was that?” She asked.  Her voice was breathy and her head ached.

“You fainted,” Jackson said, helping her to sit up.

“No, I mean—yeah, I did, but…what the hell happened to you? Did you die?”

“Oh—that, well, yeah, um…kind of,” he said unhelpfully.  She shook her head and smiled at him.

“Alright then.  I think I’ll leave that alone for now,” Leah chuckled, and he shrugged, smiling an embarrassed smile.  “Um, my head hurts, can we stop?”

~~~SGA~~~

They planned to work together more in the next few days, but the arrival of another General delayed them.  Leah was officially requested to speak with the man about Atlantis. Jordan escorted her to the briefing room, reassuring her that General Hammond was a good man.  When she met him, Leah had to agree.  He had a wonderful air of confidence and paternal interest about him.  She wasn’t told why, but she was expected to tell him anything he asked. She began to get a sense of some mission to Atlantis that they must be planning.  She didn’t know how they planned to get there, but the questions Hammond asked were very practical ones.  He grilled her just as the others had at her original debriefing, but without the criticisms of McKay.  When Leah was finally dismissed, she passed Daniel in the hall on her way back to her room.  His mind was more familiar to her, and she easily read that he was going with Hammond on a new spaceship to Atlantis.  She stopped him with a grip on his arm.

“Daniel, um…would you tell Dr McKay why I haven’t been back, and just, ah, say hi to him for me?” Leah said quietly.  His eyes widened for an instant, and then they darted around quickly and returned to hers with a look that told her to shut up.  She nodded to him, shrugging as she walked away, tossing an impish grin over her shoulder at him.  He shook his head and smiled back.

He was gone the next day when she asked about him. When he returned a week later, he was unhappy and Leah chose to leave him alone, knowing the mission must have failed to reach Atlantis.

~~~SGA~~~

“Mail call, Elf,” Jordan said, coming into Leah’s room and tossing her a small stack of envelopes.  Leah looked through them, sighing at her mother’s handwriting and exclaiming over the Tamag return address on another.  She tore it open immediately, scanning it.  Then she leapt to her feet and jumped up and down.

“They accepted it! They accepted my thesis! I just have to defend it and I’ll be Doctor Elton!”  She bounced around in a circle, and Jordan laughed and hugged her. They mirror danced a little in celebration.

“Congratulations, sis! That’s really incredible,” Jordan told her.  Leah stopped dancing.

“Aarg! I can’t go to Texas to defend ‘cause I’m stuck on this base! Damn!”

“It won’t be forever, Elf,” Jordan tried to pacify her.  Leah stalked over and threw herself on the bed and kicked her heals a few times.

“I know.  I-know-I-know-I-know!  It’s just… I’ve worked so hard for this, and I want to be Dr Elton when I go back and see…” she trailed off at her sister’s sense of disapproval.  Leah rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, like you have the best taste in men. Does he even know how you feel?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jordan protested, but Leah read the answer in her sister’s mind.  Jordan wasn’t sure if Jack O’Neill knew, and she wasn’t sure how he felt, either.

“Yeah, uh-huh. Veh, right?”  Leah shook her head. She was so frustrated with Jordan.  “Look, I’m gonna go for a run, okay?”  

Jordan stood and went to the door.  “Fine. See you later.” She left.

Leah got changed and headed out, a plan beginning to form. She didn’t expect to have a chance to implement it so quickly, but O’Neill was in the gym when she arrived.  She quickly hopped onto the treadmill next to his.

“Hi,” she said brightly. He nodded. “Have you seen Jordan?” She asked as she switched the machine on and began a light jog.  She reached out with her mind, trying to get a feel for his response to her sister’s name.  She got nothing.

“Nope. Check Daniel’s lab,” he said.

“She works with Daniel a lot, then?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you get to work with her much?” She said, reaching out, pushing herself.  His mind was like one-way glass.  When she struggled, it was like she could sense something, vaguely, but there were no words, nothing she could put a name to.

“Not much.”  He shut his machine off, pulled the towel off the bar beside him, and nodded to her as he walked away.  She thought about the encounter.  What was different about him? He had the gene, but she’d been able to read people in Atlantis more who had the gene. Especially Sheppard. From what the medical staff had said, O’Neill was also what they called a ‘natural’, or an exceptionally potent carrier, like Sheppard, or herself. O’Neill was older, and he’d been in the military longer. What was his background? Was he a pilot? Or maybe something else. She stayed and finished a few miles before quitting.

Daniel joined the twins for dinner in the cafeteria that evening.  Leah maneuvered the conversation around to personal histories of the various people she’d met on the base, and Daniel finally let slip the information that Leah was fishing for.

“—with Jack’s background in Special Forces, he’s seen plenty of ground combat. Sam’s seen a lot of combat hours in the air, though,” Daniel finished.  Leah nodded.  Special forces would likely give their people anti-interrogation training.  He’d have automatic defenses to his mind.

“Thanks, that clears that up,” Leah said to him. She’d have to figure out another way to get past those blocks.

~~~SGA~~~

Leah was reading in her room when she sensed Jordan approaching.  Her twin stuck her head in the door.

“Good news!  Your security clearance has been granted.  Wanna get out of here?”  Jordan smiled.  Leah’s heart leapt.

“Oo!  Could, could you wait a bit?  If I’m cleared, I can go back to Atlantis.  Just pop back and let them know we’re good to go for scheduled reports and research,” Leah said, trying to spin her desire to see McKay again to something Jordan would approve of.  But they’d had too many conversations about him, and Jordan sighed, her shoulders sagging.

“You just want to go see—“

“Hey! I’ve been working pretty hard on this crush here, so what better way to find out for myself that you’re right and he’s just an asshole than to go spend more time with him?”  Leah interrupted, grinning.  She was bouncing in her chair and Jordan sighed again, then straightened up and gave a stern look

“Two hours.  I want you back here in two hours or I will drag you back here whatever it takes!” Jordan was adamant.  Leah grinned.

“Two hours, absolutely!”  Leah went and lay down on the bed and began to breathe deeply.  She sensed Jordan’s curiosity and that her twin came into the room and sat in the chair she’d been reading in, watching Leah.  Though an audience wasn’t the best conductor for meditation, it was only Jordan, and Leah really wanted to go, so she blocked out the distraction and focused on getting to Atlantis.

At the city, it was late evening, as far as Leah could tell.  There was still a thin strip of light at the horizon, but the stars were out in abundance.  She paused and studied them, awed by the fact that they were totally different from either the northern hemisphere she’d grown up with or the southern where she’d spent so much time recently.  That brought home to her better than the intellectual knowledge that she really was in another galaxy.  She remembered that she could go see McKay and headed into the city.  His lab held another scientist, a short man with longish thinning brown hair, but he didn’t have the gene and couldn’t see her.  She paused, wondering what he was working on, and tried to listen to his thoughts, but they were in a foreign language.  She could grasp that the work he was doing had to do with a generator, and maybe repairs, from the images accompanying the thoughts, but the language was a real barrier for her.  With a mental shrug, she headed down the hall toward McKay’s room.  She entered at the door, peeking in first, then entering when she saw he was clothed on his bed.  She approached and could see his breathing was slow and even.  He slept.  He lay atop the covers, fully dressed, as if he had collapsed in exhaustion.  As Leah moved closer, studying the relaxed countenance, she noticed a bandage on his forearm.  Blood had seeped through.

Leah must have projected her concern, as McKay’s eyes flew open.

“Huh? Wha—Leah?” McKay mumbled, sitting up. She backed off a bit.

“I’m sorry I disturbed you.  I finally got my security clearance, and thought I’d come let you know so we can schedule regular check-ins, then I saw your arm…”

His opposite hand came across and covered the bandage protectively and she got the sudden burst of his memory projected on a wave of remembered fear.  Genii had come to try to take over the base while it was mostly evacuated due to a massive storm.  McKay knew he had to get them to let him enact his plan to power the shield with the lightening and save the city, but he also knew they wouldn’t believe him if he gave up the information too easily.  His fear, knowing he’d have to let them torture him was only tempered by the knowledge he wouldn’t have to endure much since they thought he was a wimp.  The ruse had worked, but he shuddered as he recalled the searing pain as the knife slid into his arm, then the shooting agony as the soldier had twisted the blade between the bones of his forearm.  He shook his head, trying to clear the recall from his mind.

“Oh God, you are so brave!” Leah exclaimed in wonder.  He started and stared at her in shock.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but you just projected really loudly that whole memory.  I can’t believe you let them…”  She came close to him, wishing she could touch him, reassure him.  She hovered beside him over his bed.  “You’re really an amazing man.  You saved the city.”  McKay’s chin rose, and with it his discomfort.  Pride was there as well, and a whole bundle of tangled emotions stemming from his self-loathing, his desire for approval; his whole damaged emotional self.

“Yes, well.  I did what had to be done,” he declared, burying the uncomfortable emotions and slapping an arrogant manner into place from self-protection and habit. They stayed that way awkwardly for a minute.

“Look, you certainly deserve your rest.  I am sorry I woke you.  Shall I check in with someone else tonight or just come back tomorrow?”  Leah forced herself to move away from him.

McKay cleared his throat.  “Unless you have anything urgent to report, we can certainly schedule something for tomorrow.”

“In about 16 hours?”  She asked.  It would be early morning for her, but probably afternoon for Atlantis.  McKay looked up at her, and she saw him eyes play over her ‘face’.  Thoughtfully, she tried to project her approval of his actions, her concern, and her respect in a very low-key way.  Some of the tension left his shoulders and he nodded.

“That will be fine.  In my lab, if you’d be so kind,” he said, his standard hostility and sarcasm coming out.  She smiled inwardly.

“Of course, Doctor.  See you tomorrow,” she moved toward the door and paused.  “Sleep well.”  She let some of her affection for him pulse toward him as she exited.  She paused in the hallway, trying to gauge the time.  It couldn’t have been more than half an hour, but she really had no desire to talk with Sheppard, Beckett, or Weir.  She rose up out of the building and looked around.  The sea was very active with large swells and there were breakers at the edges of the city.  She suddenly realized that she wouldn’t need scuba gear to dive like this, and she zipped straight down to the edge of the city. She dove, and was excited to find that she could move as easily under the water as she did through the air.  She explored, going deep to find any of the sea life that was avoiding how stormy it was above.  Her own presence was bright enough to illuminate the depths, and she lost herself looking at the variety of sea life she found.

Leah felt a tugging, and a fading sensation, and she guiltily realized it had probably been more than two hours.  She returned to her body, and Jordan’s frowning face.

~~~SGA~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Rodney, obviously. So I spin every negative thing about him to my preference. This continues through this story so I hope you like that!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter. Major happenings.

The next week was busy. Stargate Command had  Leah bouncing back and forth, carrying questions and answers and ideas and orders.  She got to spend some of her time with McKay, but as often, she was forced to be the go-between for meetings with Weir and Sheppard on the Atlantis side, and O’Neill, Carter, Daniel, and other specialists on Earth. The medical staff poked holes in her daily to monitor what the activity was doing to her, and she was required to take handfuls of supplements with all the resources her body was expending.  She ate ravenously, and Slate was always willing to save her her favorites or make something special for her.  He was a nice guy, but she carefully kept their interactions no more than friendly.

After ten straight days of information courier duty, Leah was exhausted and fed up. She went to O’Neill’s office first thing that morning.

“General, I need a break. I want to schedule a short trip to Galveston so I can complete my PhD. Can I go tomorrow or the day after?” Leah said without preamble. O’Neill leaned back in his chair and puffed air out his cheeks.  He played with a pen on his desktop.

“You know the IOA wants you to meet with Weir again tomorrow,” he said.  She stepped up to his desk and leaned forward.

“I know.  I’m exhausted, and I’ve put this off for nearly two weeks already,” Leah put her hand on his.  “Please, General? Or should I ask JJ to ask you?” Her sense had become sharper in the weeks she’d been using it, and she gave a jab with her mind to try to find his reaction to Jordan’s name. She had to push harder than she would have thought to get through his barriers, but she did finally get there , the pressure bursting like a bubble popping like it had felt early on when she’d delved into McKay’s memories .  She sensed another layer of defenses, and she could only get feelings from him, but it was enough for now. He was very attracted to Jordan, and he had a deep affection for her.  Leah opened her eyes wide and gave her best pleading look. She sensed his feeling of dislocation since Jordan had apparently given him the same look in the past. She got that feeling a lot around the base; unsurprising since there weren’t any other identical twins working there.

“You need a few days to recover from what you’ve been doing. Go.”

“Thank you so much!”

Leah practically danced out of the room. She called her advisor and made the arrangements for her final oral exam two days hence, then bought a plane ticket, wincing at the cost of  getting it last minute .  She went t o her room and lay down quickly, wanting to let them know in Atlantis that she’d be gone for a few days.  McKay informed her that one of his scientists ha d located a satellite at the LaG rangian point that they were going to fly out to investigate, so he’d likely be busy anyway. She wished him good luck and reluctantly left.

~~~SGA~~~

Jordan drove Leah to the airport and wished her sister good luck on her examination.  Leah had a backpack full of notes, and she felt like an undergrad again, cramming through the whole flight.  She shouldn’t have worried.  Her advisors all liked her and their questions were challenging but answerable, and she passed with flying colors.  She was proud of the fact that she hadn’t used her telepathy at all to help her.  She took herself out to an expensive dinner to celebrate, and made it an early night.  The next morning she went to the beach to watch the sun rise and to swim, and she reveled in the feeling of being back in water warm enough  to not need a wet or dry suit.  Her flight back to Colo rado was uneventful, and she found herself rather glad to be back.  Even spring in Galveston was hotter than Leah preferred.

Back at Jordan’s house that night, Leah shared her trip with her twin.  J ordan laughed at her impersonation of the lispy old man who was one of her advisors, and made envious yummy sounds at Leah’s description of her fresh fish at dinner. Leah finally steered the conversation back to the people at the SGC.

“So General O’Neill was very gracious to let me have these two days away,” Leah said.  Jordan made a non-committal sound. “I, um, I read him,” Leah finally confessed, when Jordan hadn’t risen to the topic.

“You  what ?” JJ was obviously aghast.  “He is a Brigadier General in the United Sta t es Air Force!  If you can’t keep yourself under control, I swear—“

“About  you !  Just about you!”

Jordan froze.  Leah waited, and watched, trying not to smile as the blush slowly rose up JJ’s neck and all the way to her hairline.  And then she kept waiting.

“ And ?”  Jordan broke finally and asked.

“And, if you get the opportunity to take it up a notch, I think you’ll find him willing,” Leah said.  Jordan leaned forward slightly, tense.  Leah let out a soft laugh.  “He cares about you. And he’s attracted to you, too.” JJ expelled a long breath and sank back against the cushions of the couch.  Leah could hear the thoughts and speculations running around and around in Jordan’s mind, and she rose.  “I’m going to bed.” She kissed her sister on the top of her head as she passed.

~~~SGA~~~

Back at the SGC the next day, Leah was pressed to immediately get back to her messenger duties.  She dutifully memorized what she needed to tell the senior staff in Atlantis, then went into the observation room  just off the infirmary that  they had set aside for her to project from. Laying down on the bed she took a deep breath and sent her mind out, soaring to the beautiful city on the water. Once there, she decided to go see McKay first.  She couldn’t stand the thought of spending time with Elizabeth or Sheppard before she could check in with the person she really wanted to see.

Leah found McKay in his lab, and his mind was chaos, though he tried to work at his laptop.  The mission must have been awful.

“Dr McKay?” Leah said, coming over to him.  He jumped and looked up at her.  His face was sunburned and his eyes red.  “You don’t look so good. Rough mission?” She reached out a ‘hand’ to his shoulder and whimpered softly at the pain she felt he was in. His eyes searched her and she wanted to hold him.

“I lost two of my scientists,” he said quietly, and she gasped and pulled back he recalled the image of Dr Gaul’s aged body slumped inside the wraith ship with half his head spread over the wall.  She knew from McKay’s recollection that he’d killed himself to  allow McKay go help save Sheppard’s life. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.  That’s terrible!”  Sh e moved back next to him again  and projected understanding and reassurance to him.  He slumped forward.

“I couldn’t…” he trailed off, completing the thought in his mind. ‘I couldn’t save them.’ His mind ran through what Gaul had said to him, and she sensed him wondering if the younger scientist  had been smarter than he was, if somehow Rodney  had been jealous of him. And if that had kept him from doing something to save the man.

“You did everything you could,” Leah said firmly.  McKay looked at her, his eyes flickering, looking at her, then away. “ And you saved John’s life. That’s amazing, Doctor.  You’re amazing.”

He looked back at her again,  the truth fueling his egotism and he nodded.  “Thank you.”

“Do you…want to talk about it?” Leah asked. He shrank back a little, and she cringed herself.  “It’s okay. I understand what happened. You don’t have to say anything else,” she hurried on. “I…I need to go play telephone with Weir and Sheppard. I’d—I’d like to come back to see you before I quit the day. Is that alright?”

“Yes, I…I may have something for Dr Lee later. Come back before you go.” He brusquely ordered. She sent reassurance and condolence to him before she visualized the Command center and let her mind take her there.

~~~SGA~~~

After her return that evening, Leah approached Jordan in her lab. “I need to know how to read Ancient,” she said, with little preamble.

“It would take you years to get fluent, Elf. I can give you some basic lessons, but—“

“No, I need to know now, with what I’m doing.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Jordan frowned, then her eyes opened wide. “Wait, no, I don’t think you can… I mean, maybe… Wow.”

“Yeah. I think I can like, imprint it from you. I’ve been able to understand the math symbols McKay works with a little from being in his head so much, and that’s not even trying for a specific thing. I don’t really understand any of it, but I can remember it better now than when I started. I think if I were to…ride shotgun while you read a bunch of text or thought through the rules you’ve learned about how the language works, I’d learn really fast. I might even be able to reach past what you’re doing and  absorb the knowledge. I want to try.”

“That’s so creepy, sis.” Jordan was so uncomfortable with her twin reading her surface thoughts, she’d never offered to be a subject when Leah was delving further. Plus, she’d worked really hard to learn Ancient , her natural aptitude for languages aside . Why should Leah get to take a short cut? But she felt immediate shame at that thought. “I don’t know…”

“I, uh, I think I get it. It’s okay, Jage. I’ll ask Daniel. He’s let me poke around in his head a little, and I think he’ll be curious enough about the possibilities to try,” Leah said. She  had figured Daniel might be more receptive anyway, but hadn’t wanted to hurt Jordan’s feelings not offering to her first.

“No!” Jordan reacted. Leah started. She had had no idea that Jordan was protective of Daniel this way. Jage didn’t want Leah to try to get too close to the man. Leah nodded to herself when she caught the denial of sexuality layering Jordan’s feelings. She didn’t want Leah to sleep with him, and still hadn’t figured out that Leah wouldn’t seduce someone just because she could. She really needed to take some time and try to get Jage to accept that she wasn’t the insecure girl, so desperate for acceptance that she screwed any guy who looked at her anymore.

“Great, so let’s try it tomorrow morning, then,” Leah said firmly, then walked away. Feeling a bit childish from JJ’s reaction, she went straight to Daniel to ask him to set up equipment to monitor the experiment the next day. She flirted lightly with him, a sense of guilt keeping her from taking it any further, although he seemed amenable. She felt a bit of his associating her with Jordan, but he seemed aware of it and appreciated her for herself. If not for McKay, she might have tried dating the archaeologist; his intelligence and calm spirit appealed to her. But the snarky scientist so far away held her heart.

~~~SGA~~~

They were impressively successful with the very first attempt at Leah learning Ancient from Jordan. They had lain down  and held hands  on the pair of gurneys in the observation room, both with electrodes all over them to monitor what would occur, then Jordan had begun reviewing everything she knew about the language. It was less than two hours later that they had begun a telepathic discussion in the language,  considering the uses that Leah could make in Atlantis, when Leah’s stomach growled and they quit.

Daniel was monosyllabic as he studied the data, and Carter was fascinated as well, so the twins left them to it and headed to the cafeteria. Jordan was amazed at how strong her hunger was, and Leah reminded her to tell Daniel and Carter that, later. It seemed to indicate that some of the energy from the transfer had come from JJ.

Slate greeted Leah warmly and nodded to Jordan. The two made their selections and sat down to eat. As they so often did, they slipped into their own private twin language as they talked, oblivious at first to the attention they were receiving from the next table. Dr Lee finally interrupted them.

“Are you two actually speaking in a unique language?” He asked, sitting down with them without asking. The background attraction to thetwins Leah took in stride; nearly all of the men she’d interacted with had had some of that, even if it wasn’t conscious. Part of her wondered how different her life would have been if she’d had the confidence that she was attractive from her telepathy when she was younger. It had been a hard learned lesson instead, her fear of abandonment having taken her down a deep dark hole of sex and drugs until her near overdose had woken her up to the danger she’d put herself in.

“Sure. It’s pretty common,” Jordan answered.

“Would you be willing to be the test subjects for a study? My wife is working on her doctorate and I bet she’d—“

“I’d rather not, Doctor,” Leah answered apologetically. “I am being studied relentlessly with the abilities that panel gave me, and I don’t think I could stand another one.”

Jordan seemed miffed. “I would be happy to give her an interview if that would help.”

“Okay, yeah, I get it. But wow, you’d be like Nell; it sounds kind of like baby talk with the single syllables you use, and—“

Leah stood abruptly and went to empty her tray. She was feeling emotionally raw and sensitive to her perception of criticism, and she  petulantly wanted some time to just go hang out with McKay. A glance over at Jordan, who sat with Dr Lee, soothing his ruffled feathers , reinforced her need to escape with the disapproval JJ radiated at her. She just felt on edge, and had the feeling that she needed to get to Atlantis.

Looking at the time, Leah was further frustrated as she calculated the time difference to the Pegasus galaxy and realized it would be the middle of the night there. Worse and worse. She went to her room, changed into workout clothes, and took a long run in the gym, pushing her body to exhaustion. After a long shower, she decided to see if anyone (namely McKay) was awake early. She snagged several power bars from a vending machine and returned to her room. She curled on her side to simulate sleep in case Jordan came to check on her, and sent her consciousness soaring away.

As Leah descended into the city, she immediately knew something was wrong. Desperation was radiating from the control tower, and McKay's mental state was the loudest to her. He was nearly in a panic. She was by his side in seconds. His hands were twisting, twitching , and his mind raced. He stood out on the balcony of the control tower, looking up at the sky and pacing.

"Dr McKay?"

H e jumped, then was flooded with relief. "Oh thank God. Leah , I need your help. The Genii have disabled a jumper and left it dea d in space and Major Sheppard,  Dr Weir,  Beckett, and Te yla are on board! They have only the air in the cabin and in the spacesuits. We have a Genii prisoner who knows where they left the jumper, but he's not talking! Please, please, come with me, r ead him, help me save them!"

"Yes , yes! Let's go!" She replied. Hi s urgency was infectious, and he hustled her inside and down to holding cell. The man inside had a bruised face and radiated hate. "Oh God," Leah said softly. She sensed self-consciousness f rom McKay.

" Ford tried...I made him stop." He was deeply ashamed he’d allowed even  a few punches to occur.

She passed through the bars and settled in front of th e prisoner. He was afraid of  the game he thought they were playing, talking to thin air , and she hoped that would make this easier. He recoiled as she reached out and "touched" his shoulders,  sensing her somehow,  but she simply flowed with him.

"Ask him, Doctor," s he ordered. McKay came forward.

"Where is our jumper?" He demanded. The prisoner's mind whirled in confusion and he fought her. She tried to reach deeper, but his anger was like a dark maelstrom; impenetrable. She tried to attach to anything – struggling not to be knocked backward, but it was fruitless. It was like it had been when Dr. Jackson tried to keep her out of his mind. The only way she been able to break through had been to physically touch him. She withdrew her "hands" from the man's shoulders and moved forward until she and he occupied the same space. Then she dove back into his mind. It made no difference. She couldn't break through the shield his emotions put up. She looked over at McKay where he was wr inging and flexing his hands madly. Her heart broke to have to disappoint him. She appro ached.

"I can't. I'm  so  sorry ," her voice broke.

"But – but…" His eyes darted around. She could hear his thoughts chasing themselves. 'But if they die I'm in charge. I don't know how to run an expedition! Oh God, if they die… Not all of them. I can't lose the  people I've come to know here!'

"Wait. Drug him. " Leah recalled the feeling of disconnection from her emotions when she had been high on heroin. Maybe it woul d help her get past his blocks.

"What? "

"Give him a sedative – calm him down! His emotion s are blocking me. "

The call was sent, and after a brief, heated argument between McKay and the d octor, a shot was administered.

Leah tried again, delving into the man's mind. He struggled and fought, and she couldn't break through. She finally withdrew, fr ustrated, anguished, and angry.

She turned to McKay. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She felt a weight settle onto his shoulders and chest. He didn't say a word, just spun on his heel and walked out. She followed him slowly. If she'd been embodied, she knew she'd have been crying.

Leah found McKay out on a balcony. His hands grasped the rail, white knuckled. The sun was just brightening the sky , and a damp wind blew his clothing against his body.

"Dr. McKay…" She said softly. He didn't move. "I'm so sorry. If I was here physically, he wouldn't be able to keep me out. I just… I'm sorry."

He turned his head and his voice cracked as he spoke. "It's not your fault," he said. "I'm not – not mad at you." His thoughts ran on, 'I 'm mad at them, how could Sheppa rd let this happen? This leaves  me in charge. I don't know how to do Elizabeth's job, let alone manage these military people. What am I going to do? I can't…' he turned away, looking out over the ocean. He shook his head slightly. 'I  can't do this .' His misery made her ache. It was intensely painful to be so helpless, and she withdrew back to her body, the release of tears into her pillow unhelpful in easing her conscience. She kept seeing McKay, hearing his hopelessness, feeling his frustration, and she wanted to  scream.  'I need to help him, I can't stand this!' Leah thought. His pain and desperate fear were  too much . She wanted to be there to take away his problem, to save the others, and to wrap her arms around McKay and hold him. She had to do something! She sent her mind spinning out toward him, knowing only that she had to be with him.

Suddenly, there was a great roaring in her ears,and she tried to look around. There was darkness, and she could no longer sense anyone else. Apressure inside her mind, building like a low rumble of thunder started. She felt herself stretching out, pulled by an inexorable force. Discomfort, then pain, ramping up to the most horrible agony she had ever known. She tried to scream, but she couldn’t feel her body. And yet, it felt like she was being pulled apart, like her joints were separating, her limbs tearing off, but she remained whole. Her mind knew nothing but pain so intense she didn't think she could endure it and not lose her sanity. Endless, falling, burning, tearing apart; light and sound and every taste she’d ever had, every smell, complete overload. She felt her sense of self begin to unravel.

And then, it ended. She could feel her body again, and it burned and ached, but the feeling was dull compared to the agony previous. She tried to take a breath and the air was cool and filled with the scent of the ocean. She became aware that she lay on her side on a cold surface, and her skin was ri ppling into gooseflesh with chill . She felt a breeze blow over her skin, and she knew she was nude.  A touch  on her shoulder, and immediately she was crying out, flailing at th e r ecalled pain .  Then it registered in her mind who had touched her. Rodney. It w as dark, and she hurt all over. She looked around, grabbing at McKay, a solid presence in the chaos around her.  Rain and flashing lights, cold and pain, she was confused and disoriented.  McKay’s mind was also full of confusion, which amplified hers.

“Rodney?” She called, trying to see him.  She held his wrist, and she was shocked by the solidity of him, the reality.  She was here, really here, in Atlantis!

Recognition at the sound of her  high, soft  voice rocked McKay.

“Leah?”  He pulled her closer to him, suddenly concerned that she was getting wet and her hands where she held his wrist were frigid.

“Get me to the prisoner!” She cried, her mind finally catching up to the import, the possibility, of where she was.  She was shivering, freezing, and she could feel the warmth of McKay’s body like a campfire.  She let go of his wrist with one hand and grabbed for a better hold, ending up with a handful of his shirt. She pulled herself closer and felt his other arm go around her in blessed warmth.

“Leah, what?  How—“

She growled and yanked him close enough for her to see his face.  “The prisoner!” She gasped.  His mind made the leap hers already had, and he rearranged his grip on her and lifted.  The exterior light on the balcony flickered back on, and the door opened at his approach.  A marine stood inside, having followed McKay, waiting for orders, and gotten stuck inside when the power went out.  The man staggered back, staring in shock at McKay’s burden.

“Get a blanket!” McKay ordered, trying to ru n with her toward the cell.  His wet shoes  slipped and  he  st umbled, nearly dropping her;  she cried out in pain.  “God, Leah, are you okay?  What the hell happened?” He said to her as he continued on at a hurried walk.

“I’m here.  I’m really here,” she repeated softly.  One thought was truly clear in her mind.  “I can find out where the Jumper is from the prisoner if I can touch him!” She told McKay, sending the compulsion she felt.  Her head was pounding, and her body hurt so badly she choked on a sob.

The marine caught up to them and threw the blanket over Leah. She began to shiver violently as her body started to warm.  She burrowed closer into McKay’s chest, closing her eyes and whimpering in pain as the shivers caused waves of pain to course through her whole frame.

A door hissed open.  “Stop!” He cried to Ford where the young marine stood over the prisoner. After an agonizing debate, he’d agreed to allow the young Lieutenant to torture the Genii. He was profoundly relieved that Leah’s arrival had forestalled it. “We need to get close to the prisoner!” McKay ordered, and there were other sounds, scuffles, movement and he dropped to his knees. Leah gasped as the shock of the hard floor against his body jarred both of them. He set her down, resting the lower half of her body on the floor while supporting her torso against his chest. Leah reached out with one shaking, wavering hand, toward where Ford and another marine held a man on his knees in front of her.  McKay took her wrist and helped her place her hand against the man’s shoulder.  

“Where are they?” She asked, her voice a hoarse, quavering whisper. She reached out with her mind, searching for the information, waiting for it to come to her.  The man struggled, fighting her, and her resolve hardened.  Somehow, she had just gone through a terrible ordeal to get this information, and she wasn’t going to let him hold back for another minute. ‘Where's the jumper?’ She demanded with her mind. His swirling anger was sluggish, and she made her own thoughts into a slender point and arrowed through the maelstrom. She tightened her grip on his shoulder and threw her other arm out, grabbing him by the back of the head, her fingers twisting his hair into her fist. “Where are they?” She demanded, her voice strong and powerfully echoed by her mind smashing into his.  The man cried out, and blood came from his nose.  ‘Where are they?!’ She came against a wall, that part of the mind that defended itself well at all costs. Leah clenched her jaw and pushed, forcing herself into the tensile strength of his block, and began to feel layers peel back with a rending sensation. She pressed harder and felt his pain, fear, panic welling up. She slapped those aside, feeling stronger the closer she got to the information she needed. "Where! Are! They!"

And the last layer burst like a pricked balloon. There  it  was, a gate address came to her mind along with the knowledge that they were on the dark side of the second moon of the planet whose address it was.  The man passed out, and Leah sent the information to McKay  and heard him begin shouting orders  before she  fell  into oblivion.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few peeks into other characters’ povs and then Leah’s first experiences in Atlantis. Things start heating up with Leah and Rodney finally in each other’s physical presence. Rating increase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lost the impetus to continue crossposting this and then I’ve gotten a couple of really kind comments and it made me realize I want to keep going. Thank you to LoneErebor and Astralnautful for those comments.

Jordan wandered down the hall, trying not to think, realizing that there was an emptiness where the sense of Leah used to be. The SGC was recovering. A power surge had knocked everything out. Everything. Including power for Fort Carson Army post and the entire southwest portion of Colorado Springs. Backups had cut in, but it was unheard of for the entire mountain to go dark: there were separate power units for the various programs throughout Cheyenne Mountain, and they as well as Fort Carson were completely isolated from the civilian areas. There wasn't much that was appropriate for a linguistic specialist Army Captain to do in an emergency, so her assignments were grunt work, hustling to check various security points and power centers. It had been hours before Jordan went to check on Leah, only to find her gone. They'd turned the mountain over looking, but then Sam had discovered where they power had gone when it drained everything with in miles: the panel Leah had discovered in Antarctica. Neither Jordan nor Jack O'Neill were allowed near it since they carried the gene, and so they'd been banished from the investigation. She felt her body start to tremble, felt tears fill her eyes and she ducked into the nearest room. It was a small, dimly lit guest room and she paced, holding her arms tightly around herself. After several passes back-and-forth she shook herself. She reached up and unpinned her hair, shaking it back and down. She ran her fingers through it, scratching her scalp, trying to only exist in the sensation.

"You okay?" Jack's voice was quiet and although unexpected, didn't startle her. JJ grabbed a fistful of her hair and tugged. She shook her head, unable to meet his gaze. She paced across the room and back one more time then stopped and faced him.

"What do I – how do I – No. I'm not okay."

"They're going to figure this out, you know they are," he said gently.

She stared at him, giving him a hard look. "And you know this how exactly?" She said bitterly. "You don't get it. You don't understand. I can't feel her. I've always been able to feel her, even when we were half the planet away. There's always been some sense of where she is or at least that she exists. I don't know what to do. I can't feel her. At all. She's just gone. How can they figure this out? It's crazy! Even for us. People don't just vanish. But she did. And there's just no way – She's never been able to take care of herself. I've always been the one to do that. And now I can't even feel her. What do I do? Oh God, how..." Her voice broke and she stopped speaking. Her shoulders shook and she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself.

Jack's brow furrowed into a frown. He hesitated for just a moment, and with a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure that he had shut the door he stepped to Jordan and pulled her into his arms. She stood rigidly for long moments before the warmth of his closeness melted her stance like wax. She wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him. A few tears silently leaked from her eyes, but she wouldn't let herself break down completely. A core deep trembling shook her and Jack found himself supporting her more and more. Eventually, afraid she would fall, he shuffled them over to the edge of the bed and sat down, pulling her onto his lap. She curled there, not truly aware of where she was And who was holding her. She was only aware of the comfort she felt, the reassurance, the safety.

Eventually, the terrible, emotional afternoon hit her with exhaustion. She didn't feel any better, but somehow She could move again of her own free will.

Jordan stood, gently disengaging from Jack's arms. He kept one hand hovering just behind the small of her back in case she faltered again, but stood beside her.

"Let's get outta here," he said. "Let's go get a beer."

By silent accord, they separated in the hallway. Jordan went to her lab to get her personal things. In the parking lot their eyes met as she walked to her car, and he stopped his truck and it's premium reserve spot. He paused at the exit, waiting for her to pull in behind him. She followed him automatically, merely registering that she hadn't driven this route before. She parked on the street as he pulled into the driveway and when she looked at the house she saw she knew it. He had brought her to his home. She slowly got out of her car and went to him, and they walked to the house together.

Jordan had been here before, when the group of friends had had barbecues. She'd never been alone this way with Jack however. He nodded her toward the sofa, and went to the kitchen himself. The sound of two beer bottles cracking open accompanied her as she sat down. She set her purse on the floor, and wiggled out of her jacket, setting it beside her. She gratefully took the beer from Jack and drank half in long smooth swallows. Jack looked at her in an appraising way. Then he gave a half shrug and sat down.

"Good stuff," he said. JJ nodded. He watched her surreptitiously from the corner of his eye as he drank his beer. She seemed steadier, but still shellshocked.

Eventually, he reached for the remote and turned the TV on. He lowered the volume and tossed the remote onto the coffee table. The Comedy Central logo spun into an episode of South Park. Partway through her second beer, Jordan kicked off her pumps and curled her legs under her. When Jack sat down after delivering a third, he rested his arm across the back of the sofa behind her. The next show that started was The Simpsons, and Jordan made a satisfied sound of which Jack approved. With the last sip of her third beer, she rested her head on his shoulder. His arm came down off the back of the sofa and his hand rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. She relaxed, letting her favorite cartoon lull her.

As Jordan's body grew heavy against him Jack knew she had fallen asleep. He turned his head and breathed deeply of the smell of her hair. The long tresses hung loose and his free hand reached over to stroke the locks where they lay spread over his chest. He'd wanted to feel them from the moment that he saw them flying free as she paced in the darkened room. He wanted so much from her, but was reticent. She was young, and she was under his command. He knew the regulations. But something drew him to her, something he found he could not fight with her close beside him. He carefully kicked his boots off under the coffee table, then put his feet on the furniture. He let his eyes drift closed, let himself enjoy the soft feel of her. He dozed.

Jordan woke early. Her eyes opened and darted around the familiar, but unexpected location. It had been a long time since she'd woken in the arms of a man. Her eyes widened when she realized who the man was who held her now. They were tangled rather awkwardly on his sofa, but she didn't move. She closed her eyes and tried not to think. Rather urgent bodily needs caused her to open her eyes again, and she noticed her left arm was asleep with the weight of his body laying on it. When she moved he would wake. But she needed to move. She sighed and tired her arm free. She could tell when he woke as he assisted in removing his weight from her arm. They looked at each other for a moment, and she cocked her head toward the hallway. He nodded with a half smile, and she rose and padded to the bathroom.

When Jordan emerged she heard Jack in the kitchen. She paused and leaned against the edge of the counter. He looked at her again with that half smile, and continued beginning preparations for breakfast.

"Eggs okay?" He asked. JJ nodded. She went to the kitchen and poured orange juice for both of them and brought it to the kitchen table, seating herself there. They ate the eggs and toast that he had made in companionable silence. She cleared the table and quickly washed the dishes. "I'm gonna need coffee," she said with a smile. "But I've got to get home to change."

She went back to the living room and gathered her things, slipping her shoes on. Jack followed, leaning in the doorframe, watching her. When she was ready to leave she approached him. They looked into one another's eyes for a long moment, then he stood straighter and opened his arms. They hugged for a long moment, then she left.

~~~SGA~~~

McKay paused at the entrance to the infirmary. There were people everywhere. He walked in and paused briefly with Shepperd, Weir, and Teyla. They were all fine, and he gave vague responses to their inquiries. His attention was focused on finding Leah.

At the back of the infirmary, he found her, still looking pale and fragile. He approached and really looked at her for the first time. Though she looked exhausted, she was undoubtedly a beautiful woman. He reached out to take her hand, and a nurse stopped him, drawing him away from her.

"She's not reacting well to touch. Dr Suthers wants her to rest," the nurse told him.

"Is she okay?" McKay asked.

"She was hypothermic and completely exhausted, but she's in great health otherwise. Who is she? We have her as a Jane Doe since she isn't in our database."

"Dr Leah Elton. She's a Marine Biologist…" His voice trailed off as he looked at her. The nurse questioned him further, but he waved her back impatiently. He approached Leah's bed and gazed down at her. She had dark hair and very fair skin. She was thin, and what he could remember and tell of her size he figured she would be at least as tall as he was. He couldn't recall what color her eyes were, and he really wanted to know. He had never envisioned her this way. He'd had a mental image of a geeky, androgynous, probably bespectacled college girl. She looked like Snow White, laying there as pale as the sheets on the bed. How had she done this? He'd have to look at the power logs. He looked toward the door and back at her. Total exhaustion, the nurse had said. She'd probably sleep for hours. He could go get his tablet and come back. He nodded to himself and hurried out. When he returned, he pulled a chair close to the side of the bed and tried to work. He was distracted looking at her, though, watching her, and he kept thinking about her arrival.

…

_Lightning, and an echoing explosion, a scream that made the hairs on his neck stand up, and when McKay's vision slowly returned he could see the form of a person curled few feet away from him, lit intermittently by the continuing lightning. Blinking, he leaned forward and grasped the shoulder of the person and pulled. A woman! A naked, hot, unconscious woman!_

_When he touched her, she jumped and screamed, but grabbed ahold of him, tight. She called his name, and suddenly he knew who she was, and it shocked him. She pulled him close and demanded to be taken to the prisoner. He realized in an instant that the trouble she'd had trying to read the man was that she wasn't physically there to touch him, and all impossibilities aside, she was here, now._

_He was barely aware of her nakedness, only enough to get her wrapped in a blanket, and then he carried her to the cell. Somehow, she ripped the information they needed from the Genii, and then collapsed. McKay caught her, lowering her to the floor of the cell. "Get her to the infirmary!" He snapped to the waiting medical team. He bit his lip as they rushed in, staring at Leah's slack face. Her skin was grey and waxy and was torn between his concern for her and the need to rescue the stranded jumper. He shook his head violently. The reason she was here was to save those others and he would be damned if he was going to throw away that sacrifice._

_Hitting his communicator, McKay whirled around and began rapidly giving orders to once again save the day…_

…

" _There it is! Get closer, within regular radio range," McKay ordered._

" _Should be in range now," Markham said._

" _Jumper 4 to Jumper 2, please come in," McKay sent. "Sheppard, this is McKay, respond!" His stomach sank when he got no response. He turned to one of the Marines, the one in a bulky space suit. "Get over there! We can use the roof hatches, come on! You, H-harrod, whatever, get your helmet on. You'll attach the pressure collar to their hatch in the vacuum, then we'll re-pressurize and you'll get them transferred to our Jumper. We haven't tested the seals on the emergency collars we installed, so work fast."_

_The marine in the space suit stared at McKay, who grunted impatiently, then swung his helmet into place and went to stand under the roof hatch. McKay backed into the forward section and closed the hatch, calling up the camera for the rear compartment and waiting while the air was pumped out and the Marine worked the experimental equipment. The transfer went smoothly, and the medical team quickly had all four victims on oxygen. None had stopped breathing, but it had been close. McKay collapsed into one of the chairs and ordered the Jumper back to Atlantis._

_Zelenka was waiting when McKay went to the control room._

" _What happened with the power earlier? Lightning? How the hell did Leah get here?" McKay demanded._

" _There was massive power surge. It blew out primary power. Backups kicked in as designed, but as for what caused the surge…?" Zelenka shrugged._

" _I'm gonna check all your data, but first, where is she?"_

" _Infirmary."_

…

Shaking himself, he divided his attention between watching her breathe and checking the power logs from the surge, eventually falling asleep, exhausted by the incredible and horrible experiences from the previous few days.

~~~SGA~~~

She was being crushed- no, stabbed- no, _burned_. Everything hurt. Leah clawed her way to consciousness and opened her eyes a slit as a hoarse moan sounded from her parched throat. She remembered vividly the pressure and stretching, wrenching, pulling of her transfer to Atlantis. She recalled tearing the information McKay needed from their prisoner's mind, then blessed darkness. Had she been in time? Were Major Sheppard, Dr Weir, Teyla, and Dr Beckett alive? Trying to open her mouth to speak toward the grey ceiling above her, Leah's lips cracked with a sharp pain and she scoffed. How could that hurt when she was in more pain than she had ever been in? Suddenly a man stood over her.

"Can you hear me, love?" The gentle Scottish brogue relieved her immensely. If Carson Beckett was here treating her, likely the others were fine, too.

"Uh-huh. Hurts," she breathed. Her eyelids slid shut and the pain swamped her. Tears trickled out of the corners of her eyes, but after an interminable time she began to feel detached from the pain. Her mind clouded, but with the pain manageable, she opened her eyes again and looked around a little.

"Better?" Carson asked. Apparently he had given her a drug for the pain. She was grateful and managed a little nod. Having successfully moved her head for that, she grew brave and attempted to move her head to look around more. McKay sat slumped in a chair at her side, asleep, and she smiled a tiny smile. "Yes, he's been here every moment since he rescued us."

She cut her eyes over to Beckett. "Everyone okay?" She asked. Her voice still sounded like car tires on gravel, but he understood her.

"Yes. I understand that the only way they found us was with your help, and I want to say thank you. We were close to hypoxia and it was getting awfully cold."

Leah looked back to McKay. "He was desperate; so scared. I _had_ to help." She cleared her throat and asked for water. Beckett's movement to get her a cup with a straw woke McKay. He took it from Carson and held it for her to sip. She stared into his eyes, which were wide with worry and something else. She could feel his concern and confusion, and she tried to smile reassuringly. "'M okay. Just tired. You did it," she breathed. "You found them." Taking for granted that she would know what had happened from his mind he nodded anyway. She struggled to sit up, and he stopped her.

"Here, there's a control," he said, pushing the button to allow her to be more upright. As the bed raised, she freed one hand and took the controller from him. Setting it down, she grasped his hand in hers. She had long fingers, and she entwined them with his and smiled at him. McKay swallowed hard, completely taken aback. He felt a sense of rightness and peace coming from her. For an indeterminate time, he stayed, and she held his hand and continued smiling. His mind was enveloped in her feelings of contentment and quiet happiness.

"I gather you can introduce me to our lovely new arrival, Rodney," Carson's voice burst through the cushioning fog around McKay's mind and he jumped. He withdrew his hand and turned to Beckett, his face flushing. Leah felt McKay's confusion and an inexplicable shame, and she longed to return to the moment they'd just shared. She concluded that she could help him best now by distracting Beckett and giving him a moment.

"We don't really need an introduction, Dr Beckett. I've been visiting Atlantis now for several months. I'm Leah Elton," she said, drawing Beckett's focus to herself. The Doctor began a cursory exam of her, checking pulse, capillary refill, and her pupils. She flinched at the light.

"I have no idea how you did it, but here you are, love. A bit photosensitive?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Well, what you need is rest," he looked at McKay. "You should go sleep in your own quarters, too. Soon." He gave both of them an admonishing look, then left them alone.

"How'd I do this?" Her voice was a bit stronger, but the pain meds were making her thoughts begin to grow fuzzy. She heard him start to explain about an energy spike in an unknown part of the city, then she began to feel like she was literally falling into his eyes. She was in his memory of her own arrival, of his awe at her strength to do what needed to be done to get the information to save his people, of the rescue, and then she was looking back at her own face and slipping from consciousness.

~~~SGA~~~

The next day, Leah woke to too many voices in her head. Lots of people came and went from the infirmary, and she struggled to block them out. She found a jumpsuit folded beside her bed and quickly dressed. She waited for people to be occupied, then slipped out to the hallway. She went to one of the areas off the hall where there were a few benches and she sat down in the shadow of a pillar. She hadn't had a chance to think about what was happening, what the implications of her arrival were, of how her disappearance would affect the SGC. She wondered if she could travel back there in her incorporeal way, and decided she really needed to know that. Jordan would be frantic with Leah's vanishing act. Who knew what she'd do. Leaning back against the wall, she closed her eyes and tried to lift out of her aching body. Nothing. She went into a deeper state of relaxation, then pictured what it looked like to rise up through the levels of the city and back to Earth. Nope. Maybe it was because she was still hurting, or because she'd overworked the part of her that connected to the Ancient technology. She'd have to try again later.

Leah decided she felt up to checking in with Dr Weir, and slowly made her way to the Control Tower. It gave her a new appreciation for the size of the place as she walked and then transported in one of the elevator-things. She'd been spoiled, moving at the speed of thought before. She kept her mind tightly shielded and her eyes away from contact with others. Weir was surprised to see her, and pleased to have the chance to express her gratitude. They spoke for several minutes in Elizabeth's office.

"I'm sure Rodney and his team will have a field day trying to figure out how this intergalactic teleportation happened, but the power surge seems to have actually melted part of the control panel they believe helped bring you here. That's quite s feat since the computers here have been all but impervious to any stress. Have you—" Weir stopped, looking over Leah's shoulder. Leah sensed a familiar mind and turned to see John Sheppard. He was staring at her, and she looked away self-consciously. He was even more handsome in the flesh, and her appreciation of that seemed wrong somehow when she was here because of McKay.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sheppard said. "I heard Leah was out of the infirmary and wanted to say thank you," he stepped forward and she looked up at him. A little half smile brought an extra boyishness to his strong features. "In _person_." She met his gaze, and when he held out a hand to shake, she took it without thinking. Immediately she regretted it and took her hand away as quickly as possible. His grip was strong, and the moment their hands touched she was electrified by his attraction for her rebounding on her own appreciation of his physical appearance, doubling and tripling before she could let go. She winced and looked away from him again, frustrated knowing that her face was flushed. His mental state was definitely running in a sexual direction, and she tried to block it out, unsuccessfully. The silence in the room was stretching to an uncomfortable length.

"You're welcome," Leah said softly. She sensed Weir's confusion at the exchange.

"You aren't what I expected," Sheppard said. "From your voice and the impression I got of you on your visits before." His mind pressed into hers the image of a geeky scientist stereotype, then transformed into how he saw her now, then caricatured into a Jessica Rabbit sexual object. Leah felt nauseated. She cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, I think I left the infirmary too soon," Leah stood and nodded apologetically to Weir. "I'm going to head back there, I don't feel well."

"Of course, do you need—"

"I'll take her," Sheppard offered, stepping up and reaching as if to take Leah's arm. She flinched away.

"No!" Leah's mind was slapped with the shock both Weir and Sheppard felt at her exclamation. She fought to calm herself. "I'll be fine," she said to Weir with a tight smile. "Thank you," she tried to keep her lip from curling as she nodded to Sheppard and left the room.

Leah walked slowly down the hallways, heading for the medical labs. The halls were familiar, but their solidness felt strange after only having been here in her ethereal form. Her whole body ached, and she moved slowly to keep from limping, hunching, or in some other way showing her pain.

"Dr Elton!" A male voice called, sending lightning zaps of pain through her head with the sound. She turned. A handsome, swarthy man approached, smiling. He put out his hand. "I'm Dr Peter Grodin, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Leah smiled, shook his hand and tried not to wince at the pressure. "Thank you," she said quietly. Her telepathy increased for a moment at his touch, and she felt his attraction to her. She drew away from him slightly, putting the extra few inches between them which allowed her to block his mental noise more easily.

"I've heard about your discoveries under the water here and I'm quite intrigued. When you're ready to begin your work here, I'd be pleased to be included." He leaned in a bit. "I'd be very pleased to help you out in any way you might require as you get adjusted here." Leah tried not to recoil at the mental undercurrents of what he said. It seemed unconscious as opposed to Sheppard's deliberate objectification, but with as sensitive as she was feeling, it was only slightly better.

"Thank you, but Dr McKay has been such a help in my adjustment already, I'm doing fine. If you'll excuse me, I have to see Dr Beckett." She smiled and nodded to him, noting the tiny frown around his mouth and the flood of discomfort at the mention of McKay. She moved on away from him, thinking about the quirky astrophysicist. The majority of people she'd met here seemed to have issue with him, as had many of the SGC personnel. She saw such a different side of him when they worked together. Well, maybe not a different side. He behaved with her as he did with everyone else, mostly, but with her telepathy, she understood where he was coming from and was able to listen to what he _meant_ instead of what he said. She'd grown used to his arrogant posturing and self-important nature. His response to her weakness when she'd physically arrived had been so tender, so protective. Reflecting on the responses she was getting from the rest of the male population of Atlantis, she admired McKay's lack of erotic response to her nude arrival. She approached the medical labs, relieved.

"Hello _there_!" A man emerged from the lab and stopped to exude his appreciation of Leah's appearance. She recoiled from the overt nature of his response. "Wow, you _must_ be our new arrival. I heard… I'm Dr Kavanaugh and I am _very_ pleased to meet you." His eyes behind his glasses peered at the neckline of her jumpsuit, and she tried to move quickly past him.

"Please, I need to see Dr. Beckett," she murmured, trying to block his thoughts off from her own consciousness.

'Whenever you want to play doctor, baby, I'm willing,' she heard his mental voice when he leaned in close as she moved to pass him. She resisted the urge to shove him away and swallowed hard as she stepped into the lab. The door closed behind her and she paused, sighing. She would have to learn to block better if all the guys here were so overt.

'She looks terrible,' Dr Beckett's thoughts came to her. Those with the gene seemed to have a much stronger mental voice, and his soft burr reached across the room. "How are you doing today, Leah? You slipped away before I could check in with you." Leah gave a pained smile and a half shrug of apology.

"Not good. Aches. Terrible sensitivity to lights, sounds, touch, and men in serious need of a cold shower. How can I avoid the man who just left here?" She came over to the doctor and sat on one of his exam tables. Beckett began a cursory exam, looking in her eyes with a light and taking her pulse.

"Why? Was he rude to you?"

"Only in his head, but I couldn't help overhear. I didn't have this problem at the SGC. Do you think Elizabeth chose every male chauvinist pig she could, leaving none behind on Earth?" Leah hated to hear the cynical sound in her voice.

'Has she no idea just how beautiful she is?' Beckett thought. Leah rolled her eyes. "My dear, everyone here has been looking at the same faces for months, excepting those who have been on the expeditionary teams. You're going to create a stir here. But it seems to me that you're tired and a wee bit cranky. I will give you something a little stronger for the aches if you promise to go and rest. I'm sure your outlook will improve when you feel better, and I expect you'll be able to block those unwanted thoughts better then, too."

Leah nodded, noting her depression with the analytical part of her brain. The doctor gave her an injection.

"You shouldn't be alone while you're on that. Would you like to stay here or should I call someone to fetch you?"

"I'd rather not be here, no offense to you, it's just that this place seems to stay busy with people coming and going. I'd like to be away from everyone so I can sleep and dream my own dreams, not reflections of their thoughts." The warmth of the drug spread through her and she smiled at the relief from the pain she'd been in. She'd spent a long time avoiding taking any pharmaceutical that could make her feel out of control, afraid her previous addictions would overcome her again, but this was a welcome warmth, soothing her pain and worries.

"All right, then. Should I call Teyla or one of the women, would you be more comfortable that way?"

Beckett's voice seemed to echo in her mind, and Leah blinked slowly at him.

"I don' know any o' the women 'cept 'Lizbeth, sn' she's too 'mportant to babysit me," Leah said. What had felt like a mild sedation was beginning to warp her perception and slow her thoughts.

"Oh dear, tell me you ate something today," Beckett said.

"Dunno, Doc. Havn't ben 'ungry. I wn't feelin' good, so I jus came…here."

"Ah, no," Beckett sighed. "I'll have to get someone to get you something to eat before you sleep. Who would you like me to call for you?"

She smiled, looking like a vacuous bimbo, and she rubbed her eyes like a little girl. She then squinted at Beckett with some sense of reason in her eyes.

"I am _so_ out of it. Tha's some good shit." She cleared her throat.

"Leah, who—"

"Rodney, please," she muttered. She rubbed her eyes again and coughed again. "I trust Dr McKay. Will you…call…" She seemed to lose focus.

"He's the right person to get you something to eat, anyway," Beckett muttered. He made the call, requesting McKay to come to infirmary.

Leah sat on the exam table docilely, blinking slowly and rubbing her eyes occasionally.

McKay entered the lab, walking fast and scowling at Beckett. Leah immediately sat up straighter and smiled brightly.

"I was in the middle of some very delicate calculations—" He cut off abruptly when he saw Leah sitting there. "Leah, what—"

"Ro'ney!" Leah called out. Then she giggled.

McKay detoured to her and touched her cheek and forehead with the back of his hand. "What happened?" He demanded of Beckett.

"She was in pain still and I gave her something for it. I didn't know she hadn't eaten since who knows when. She needs someone to get her something to eat and put her to bed. She requested it be you." Beckett said. He saw the aggressive tension in McKay's shoulders drain away. The physicist looked at Leah, and Beckett didn't have to have her abilities to see the genuine affection McKay had for her. "This has hit her so hard I'd like you to stay while she sleeps and check on her every fifteen to twenty minutes if you would."

Concern clouded McKay's expression. "What should I be watching for? Is she going to be okay?"

Leah giggled and poked McKay on the arm with one finger. "Yoouu're Canaaydian," she said, looking very proud of the observation.

"It's just a precaution. She's been through a lot, and I just gave her a fairly potent painkiller. Just make sure her color is good and her breathing is normal."

McKay nodded, very serious. He turned to Leah. "Come on, let's get you something to eat." She grinned and hopped off the table. She nearly fell, grabbing onto McKay's shoulder to keep herself upright. She laughed, still hanging onto him.

"Why you thinkin' I'm actin' drunk? I don' drink, Doc' McKay. No' a' all." She leaned in close to him, her eyes obviously having a hard time focusing on him at the six or so inches which separated their faces. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't suppose you can give her anything to keep her out of my head, can you?" He asked Beckett.

"But I like beyin' in your head, Ro'ney. 'S'all org'nized in there," she declared. She put the palm of her hand against his temple and patted lightly. She continued to mutter about what the inside of McKay's head was like. "Symb'ls an' nummers an' theeeoriess…"

Beckett suppressed a chuckle. "I'll have to work on that if it becomes necessary, Rodney. She did say she'd like to stay away from people for her resting, though. And with her behavior as it is right now, I suggest you keep her out of sight."

"I have some MRE's in my quarters. She commented before on how nice it was that my lab was far from most of the population, so that should be sufficient," he said. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, and his concern was palpable. "I'll take care of her."

Leah still held on to McKay's shoulder, and she'd put her head on her hand, but she stumbled as he began to move toward the door. He seemed to hesitate, then he put his arm around her waist and guided her out of the lab.

Beckett watched them go, astonished at the gentleness and protectiveness he's seen in McKay.

"I didn't think he had it in him," he said to himself, then returned to his duties.

McKay took Leah through some unused back hallways to where his lab and quarters were. He got the giggling woman to sit down in the lab and wait while he went to get her one of the MREs he had in his room. He found one of the few vegetarian ones he had and brought it to her. He heated it and sat with her, urging her to eat. She kept getting really silly and trying to feed it to him, but she finally ate some. She started nodding sleepily at the lab table, and he decided she'd probably eaten enough.

McKay came around the table and touched Leah's shoulder. Her head came up slowly.

"Mar, 'm tired," she said softly. She looked up at him, and her big blue eyes caused his breath to catch. He found his hand tenderly brushing her hair back from her eyes.

"I know. Come on, I—I'll help you get to bed, so you can sleep," he said softly. She sighed, half closing her eyes, and nodded. For an instant, the idea of laying down with her, holding her against him while she slept ran through his mind, and she looked up at him and smiled, biting her lip a little. He cleared his throat and cupped her elbow in his palm. "Up you go, come on," he said. She stood with effort, then stumbled over the chair she'd been sitting on. McKay caught her against his chest, and her arms snaked around his neck.

"'M tired," she said again, her eyes closing. McKay held her against him and took one step, then another. Her feet didn't move, and she became limp as a ragdoll. She was literally asleep on her feet, or unconscious, anyway. He looked around as if to get help from someone else, but they were quite alone in the lab. He sighed, recalling the way her nude body had felt when he'd lifted her after she'd appeared the day before. He had been so concerned with her collapse he hadn't thought of the curve of her breasts pressed against him, of her long legs… Now she hung limply in his arms, and he could smell that her hair smelled faintly of ozone and feel her body through all the clothing they both wore. He hoped fervently she was completely unaware and unconscious, or else she was sure to pick up his train of thought.

He blew out a quick breath, deciding not to think about that, and held her tighter with his left arm while he reached down to catch her legs with his right. He was glad she was as slender as she was, but still worried he might throw out his back with all this carrying. He lifted her and walked carefully through his lab to his quarters. He lay her down on his bed, the tugged at the covers, trying to pull them out from under her to be able to cover her up. She stirred, murmuring. He got the covers settled on top of her and started to turn away.

"Wait," Leah said. McKay turned back. She looked up at him and didn't say anything. He felt the press of her gaze on his mind and felt a growing fear that she was thumbing through his brain like a paperback. She smiled. "Dr McKay… I trust you." Her voice was faint, but held a clarity she'd lacked until now. "You're a…good person. I like you. There isn't anything in your head you should be ashamed of. You…liked me, before. When all we did was talk. That means a lot. So…whatever you think now that you've seen me, and you have seen more of me than any other guy here probably ever will, whatever thoughts you have now…it's okay. I trust you, and…" She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed. He stared at her for a long time, standing there, trying to understand what she meant, trying to identify what he was feeling. He finally pulled a chair over and sat down. She murmured and opened her eyes a bit. They were back to the blank stare, and she giggled softly, looking at him. She put one hand out to him, and he caught it, then she fell into a deep sleep. He sat and held her hand and watched her sleep.

…

_Leah walked along a beautiful beach. The sand was sparkling white and felt fine as powder beneath her bare feet. The sun was warm but not glaring, and her hand held another person's. She looked beside her and McKay glanced at her and smiled. He squeezed her hand while gazing around them. The surprise she's felt for a moment at seeing him there vanished, replaced by a comfortable contentment. She tugged lightly on his hand and came to a stop. He turned to face her, his eyes shining. It was the most natural thing in the world to touch his cheek, then kiss him lightly. She sensed what he felt and understood the love they shared. Total acceptance and adoration made theirs an ideal match. He returned her kiss, slipping his arms around her. The intensity grew, and she felt her arousal accentuated by sensing his. She slid her hands up and down his back, feeling the muscles as well as the softness. His arms were strong as he held her. McKay's mouth confidently moved from her lips to her neck, her ear. She sighed in pleasure as he touched her exactly as she desired._

_She returned the caresses, taking her cues from his mind and their desire redoubled again and again. His shirt melted away under her fingers, and she reveled in his chest hair. She found her own clothing vanishing as she sensed he desired it, and soon they stood naked, pressed against each other, skin on skin, tongues entwined. With a deep sense of self-assurance, McKay pushed Leah back, and they rested on a soft bed. They were in a room with billowing sheer white drapes and moonlight flooding in. Their explorations continued; his mouth on her breast, her hand stroking his shaft, his fingers pushing into her. Each delight was shared as their minds enmeshed, and he spoke the first words they'd shared aloud since they began as he slid inside her._

" _Leah, oh, yes, Leah," he breathed as he moved within her. He whispered it over and over as she drew closer to her climax._

Leah's eyes flew open and she stared up at the room she was in. She lay in a strange bed, in a vaguely familiar place. She'd been dreaming…

"Yes, yes, Leah, yes," a murmur sounded beside her, and she looked. McKay sat slumped in a chair, her hand held in his, in the throes of a dream. From the sound of it, the same dream she'd been having.

'The touch. Like when Jage and I were little and would sleep in a bed together, and we'd dream the same dream. With him holding my hand, and my telepathy, we shared a dream,' she thought. Then heat suffused her face at the recollection of the nature of the dream. Her body still throbbed with arousal, and a quick glance at McKay confirmed he was in the same straights. She could sense his sleeping emotions, and thoughts, and she gently withdrew her hand. She knew she'd always been attracted to him, but he'd always been so professional in their interactions that she must have dragged him into her dream. She blushed again and tried to think clearly. She needed to wake him, but not be here. He would need a minute to shake off the dream, and she needed one as well. Or several.

Leah got up and went to the bathroom door. She paused, listening to his voice still softly moaning her name. She closed her eyes for a second in yearning. She imagined going to him, waking him with a kiss, and completing the scene right here. She shook herself, went into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her, hoping the sound would wake him.

She turned on the shower and stripped down, getting under the hot spray quickly. Her face still burning, she brought herself to the climax she had not achieved in the dream, thinking of the feel of McKay's body against and inside of her. As she shuddered to conclusion, she decided she'd indulged herself quite enough. She washed, noticing that her aches were a great deal better after her night of sleep. When she got out, she got into the same jumpsuit, wrinkling her nose slightly. She definitely needed to get more clothing.

Rattling the door, the light, making as much noise as possible, Leah came out into the living quarters. McKay cleared his throat. He was across the room standing near his desk. He looked at her, then away. His cheeks reddened. His discomfort came from him in waves.

"Uh, so how did I displace you? I remember going to see Dr Beckett, then things get a little hazy," she said. He cleared his throat again.

"Dr Beckett gave you too strong a painkiller and needed to have someone watch you. You requested that it be me, doubtless because you knew my rooms are far away from any other people," he replied, his professional demeanor taking over.

"I feel comfortable around you, Dr McKay. I've spent the most time with you. I really appreciate you taking on the burden, though," she smiled at him. He looked at her for a long moment, then away, and a spike of his self-consciousness and shame hit her. She took several steps toward him, wanting desperately to hold him, to tell him it was okay. He looked at her approach in alarm, and she aborted her motion. They stared at each other for a long moment. The awkwardness grew.

"I need clothes," she blurted.

"What?"

"I—I only have this jumpsuit I got when…when I got here. I need to visit storage or whatever and get a change or two at least. Do you know where I should go for that?" Leah struggled to make her expression neutral as she waited for his reaction. His eyes lost the alarm as he considered her question.

"I only know where to get lab equipment and food. Ford would probably know," McKay finally said. Leah nodded.

"Okay. Would you rather tell me where he might be, or take me to him? Do you have time?"

"Of course. I'll take you," he said, and left the room. Leah followed, sighing. They walked through the halls in silence. McKay finally broke it.

"Oh, Dr Beckett wants to see you today, to check you out," he said gruffly. She nodded in response.

Ford did indeed know where the supply officer had his office with his records and requisitions. McKay continued on with them.

Unfortunately, the clothing was all military, but she figured she'd seen them on Jordan enough to know which looked best. She took several black t-shirts and tank tops along with an assortment of the green camos and blue uniforms. The officer who gave her the clothing asked her if she had been assigned living quarters yet. She felt a flash of something from McKay but ignored it and replied in the negative without analyzing his reaction.

"I have the room assignments here on file. Do you have preference as to where you'd like to stay?"

"Yes, please," she said. 'In McKay's bed, with McKay in it,' she thought. "Near the labs, but as far from other living quarters as allowable."

"Oh, uh…" the man clicked his mouse, stared at the screen, then clicked again. "You could take the room next to Dr McKay's. That's the very edge of the populated area, and down the hall from the other labs. Would that be okay?"

Leah looked at McKay. "Would you mind having me close?" She asked. He flushed red, and she bit her lip, trying to read him. Embarrassment hid any other thoughts. Ford was amused, thinking 'What an opening, man, take it!', and snickering.

"Not at all," McKay replied, glaring at Ford.

"I'll take that one then," she said distractedly to the supply officer. He nodded and entered it in the computer. He motioned for them to wait and returned with linens after a brief absence.

Leah regarded the two large duffels full of clothing and supplies, then reached for one. Ford beat her to it, and McKay grabbed the other. She might have argued that she could carry her own stuff, but her joints still had a burning ache to them, so she shrugged mentally and held the pillow, sheets and blanket against her chest as they headed back. Both men escorted her to her new quarters, then disappeared to other tasks. She settled in, changing into a t-shirt and blue trousers, then went to try to figure out what she would do now that she was here. She checked McKay's lab first, but he wasn't there. The foreign man she'd seen in the lab once before was there, however.

"Oh! You must be Dr Elton. I am Dr Zelenka, _Radek_. Radek Zelenka, that is my name," he stammered. Leah nodded to him.

"Hello. I was looking for Dr McKay."

"He went to check the machine that melted upon your arrival. We are very curious how you did that, by the way. I have been arguing that we needed to understand how you were coming here sooner, rather than just using you as a messenger, but—"

"Doctor," she interrupted. He stopped and looked expectantly at her. She sensed he was simply waiting for her to speak, not ogling or staring in any unpleasant way. She smiled. "Where's Rodney?"

"Oh! East pier, one level down. Do you need—"

"No, it's okay. I'll manage. Thank you."

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings and overreactions.

Leah found McKay exactly where Zelenka had told her he would be. The long walk reminded her that she had not yet physically recovered from her ordeal, but it felt good to move her muscles. The solidity of the city still felt odd, but the sensation was fading. Her mind reached out ahead of her, and she went directly to the room McKay was in. When she got close enough, she could hear him muttering and cursing to himself, and followed the sounds to where his legs stuck out from underneath the panel. She cleared her throat, waited a moment, then did it again.

"What!" He snapped, withdrawing from his awkward position and blinking when he saw who waited for him. "Leah… I, uh, I thought you were unpacking, or something."

"You and Ford helped me gather every possession I can now call mine, so you know I don't have much. I'm all stowed away, and I wanted to talk to you about a job."

"A job?" He stared dumbly. She could tell he was distracted by the work she'd interrupted, and she didn't want to be a nuisance, but she had to find a way to be useful and to prove to him that she was an asset to the scientific division of the expedition.

"Yes. Dr McKay, as you know, I am a marine biologist, and I'd like to be useful while I'm here."

"Huh. Well, I guess you should talk to earth sciences. That's probably the closest to what you…" He waved his hand and she swallowed hard, "…do."

Leah waited for him to continue, but he didn't say anything else; just looking nervously at her then away. She smiled tentatively, and raised her eyebrows. She was doing her best not to read his mind, trying to respect his privacy, but it seemed like it would be easier if she did. He was oblivious to what she was asking with her silence.

"Earth sciences? Who would I speak to you about that?" She finally asked aloud.

"It's… It's that Australian guy, or New Zealand, or somewhere. Hmm, Barton…or Beta? He's the head of that department." His hands again flailed, shooing her away.

She bit her lip and tried not to laugh at his absurd level of unawareness. "You don't know the name of one of your staff members?"

"I don't know the names of _most_ of my staff members," he admitted, shrugging dismissively. Now she did laugh. His face grew red, though, and she held up her hands placatingly.

"I know, Dr McKay. I know your mind is taken up with much more important information than names. It's just different from the way most people are. Please don't take offense."

"Fine. Yes. So go… Go talk to him," he said in a mumble. He looked ready to get back to his work, and she regretted not having any other excuses to stay with him.

"Thank you, Doctor. I hope I'll see you later."

She returned to the science section of labs, and searched out Dr Zelenka again.

"Hi. I, um, found Dr McKay. He wants me to report to the scientist in charge of Earth sciences, but he couldn't remember his name. Do you know who that is?"

"Yes. Of course. That is Dr Sala Baru. Three doors down on the left. Would you like me to come introduce you?"

Leah smiled in relief. "No thanks, I think I can manage."

The man she saw in the lab she been directed to wasn't tall but was quite well-built. He wasn't what she had expected, but looking closely at him, she figured he was probably a Kiwi, and Maori. He had the bluff features of the natives that she'd seen when she passed through New Zealand on her way to Antarctica. She cleared her throat to get his attention. He turned and his wide smile was welcoming.

"You must be our new arrival," he said, confirming her suspicion of his nationality with his accent.

She approached, putting her hand out to shake. "That I am. Dr Leah Elton, marine biologist."

He shook her hand firmly. "Well, that's a specialty we didn't bring with us, so I'm glad to have you here. Did Dr McKay send you to be part of my department?"

"Yep. I had to get directions from Dr Zelenka though. You're Dr Sala Baru?"

"Oh, yes. Now, I'm sure that the personnel guys will need to enter you into the computer, but for now you can use this workspace." He directed her to a desk and he grabbed one of several laptops on a counter and set one in front of her. "Use these connectors to attach to that panel over there to access the Ancient database. The translation software on that laptop will sort of help you, but not all that much. It's not very good."

"I can read Ancient," she said softly. "I learned at the SGC."

"Well, _that_ will make you very handy anyway."

~~~SGA~~~

Jordan sat dejectedly in the cafeteria eating a sandwich. She'd glared at the young airman Leah had befriended, which had effectively kept him away. Jack O'Neill set a slice of pie on the table, then sat down and gave a quiet nod. They shared a companionable silence for a few minutes before Jordan finally spoke.

"I don't know what to do," she said. "Everyone is more worried about the power, and that damn panel, than about Leah."

Jack gave her a hard look and took a bite of his pie, chewing thoughtfully. He set his fork down and finally said, "So do something."

She stared at him. He had always been one to just get things done when he was actively in the field, how could she do any different?

"Sam has been studying the panel," she commented, realizing he couldn't come out and say anything plainly. She ate another bite of her sandwich.

"SG-1 is going off world tonight."

She nodded, her eyes a little wide at how far he was going to help her.

"And there might just be a security drill around 21:30."

Her jaw dropped. She closed it with the snap and nodded to him curtly.

"Thank you, Jack," she said softly as she got up to clear her tray. He nodded and took another bite of pie.

~~~SGA~~~

JJ licked her lips and tried to seem like she belonged in the hallway as she stood with a file folder, pretending to read. She refused to look at her watch again; her mind was counting down to 21:30, though it would have been reassuring to see the seconds click by. A red light started flashing, and there was movement around her as the drill began. She tucked the folder under her arm and strode toward the science lab that held the panel. The guards had gone wherever they were supposed to go for this particular drill, and Jordan guiltily entered Sam's passcode, having seen the woman enter it so many times that it was natural she knew it, just as she knew Daniel's, Teal'c's, and any number of the science staff's. She'd been here a long time, and had a very good memory for patterns. It was one of the things that made her so valuable when working with alien languages, as repetition was the key to deciphering them.

The door snicked to unlock and she pushed in and leaned against it to close it. Staring at the piece of equipment she'd only seen in photos and video, she catalogued the changes in it. Half of the crystalline keyboard was blackened and melted. _Melted_. She'd never heard of anything which could melt the substance the Ancients used for their control units. The cautious side of her warned her that this was dangerous; it was damaged, who knew what it might do to her? But it flickered and lit as she took a step toward it, seeming to recognize her, and she ignored the conservative voice. She _had_ to find out what had happened to Leah, so she was going to touch this thing and hope that it would allow her to travel to Atlantis, like it had for her twin.

One more hesitation, then she heard the door unlock and knew she was out of time. She slapped her hand down on the brightest point of the panel, and a flare of light blinded her, then she was falling, or maybe swimming; _flying_. 'Leah,' she thought. 'Leah!'

~~~SGA~~~

Leah was pretty sure McKay had gone to bed. It had been a difficult few days, with a terrifying scare when a nanite virus had been unleashed and the city had shut itself down to quarantine the inhabitants. She'd stayed in her room through the whole ordeal, her mind straining to stay with McKay and listen, with her heart breaking as he lost scientist after scientist and feared for his own life. Paralysis had frozen her in the moments when he'd thought he was about to die, and she felt she'd barely breathed until the threat had been thwarted by the EM pulse from Sheppard detonating a nuke above the city. Exhausted, she'd lain down and sensed her favorite scientist in the room beside hers, nearly certain he was just on the other side of the wall from where she lay. She reached her mind out, as if trying to hear a voice in another room, and the familiar sense of McKay's mind was suddenly clear to her. A part of her made the mental note that familiarity seemed to make it easier for her to read people.

McKay was thinking about the mission he would go on the next day. He seemed resigned and nervous at the same time. Leah sensed his fear, but understood through his perception that it was becoming a familiar experience to go to unknown worlds and take risks. She smiled, admiring his courage. The smile faded as her guilt at listening to his thoughts and feelings without permission grew. She tried to tell herself it was because she was testing her abilities, but she knew in her heart it was in part because she had such a crush on him, and because she was feeling terribly lonely.

McKay's thoughts drifted, and she realized he was falling asleep. Music drifted in his mind, some kind of piano, beautiful in its precision and passion. She listened, and tears began to come. The music grew somber, adding to her emotional downward spiral. The reality of her situation came crashing down on her, and she started to cry. Avoiding thinking about what had happened had kept her on her feet, but she was out of reserves, and feeling desolate. She was unimaginably far from home, from her family, her friends, and Jordan. Even when Jordan was halfway around the world from her, Leah had known she was there, had had some kind of feeling of her, even before she'd gained full telepathy, but here, it was just too far. Panic, rose toward terror and Leah didn't even hear when the music from McKay's mind stopped and his thoughts became clear again. She curled into a ball, clutching her pillow, sobbing, stricken, oblivious to the sound of her door opening.

McKay stared at the figure huddled on the bed. Leah was sobbing brokenly, and he had no idea what to do.

"Leah?" He said. She didn't seem to hear him. He cleared his throat. Waited. "Leah, are you okay?"

Leah was drowning. She didn't know if she could stop crying on her own; she was out of control.

McKay saw her sobs were becoming frenzied; they were a pathetic, choking sound, and he moved toward her, calling her name.

For the first time in five years, Leah longed for a hit of the drug that had nearly killed her. She yearned to let the real world float away from her, to melt into nothing. But even that was impossible here. No dealers, no way to get it. She buried her face in her pillow and wailed.

The pitiful cry Leah gave shocked McKay. His hand rose toward as he gasped. Then he rushed to the bed, fell to his knees beside it, and reached out to her. He put his hands on her back, tried to find a way to grasp her shoulders, but the tall, slim woman was folded into a tight knot, and he couldn't find a grip.

"Leah!" He called. He tried to shake her, but she just rocked, still unconscious of his presence. He began to worry that something terrible was wrong with her and that maybe he should call a medical team. Her wail died down to a moan, and the sobs began again, only weaker. He set his jaw and moved to sit on the bed. He lifted her taut form, ready to carry her to the infirmary, when her arms suddenly snaked around his neck, clutching him.

Leah had finally sensed she was no longer alone, and latched onto the other person like a lifeline. Part of her mind realized it was McKay who held her, and she was comforted by the feel and sense of him. She began to hear words as he spoke to her, and then they began to make sense.

"Leah, are you okay? What is it, what's wrong? Do you need a doctor?"

She shook her head, and felt that the pillow she'd clutched was between them. She shifted, released him enough to shove it away, then she twined her arms back around him. She knew she was still crying, but she didn't feel so out of control with him holding her.

McKay felt some of the tension lessening in Leah's body. He patted her back lightly, concern for her overwhelming any intimate notions he might have otherwise felt.

"I can't feel Jage," she whispered, and her crying overwhelmed for a moment. "She's my twin, the other part of me!" Her voice was hoarse, broken by sobs, but she continued to speak. "I—No matter how bad my life got, I could feel her out there. I knew one of us was doing okay, so it didn't matter that I was…hurt, or sick. I can't feel her! I'm all alone, all alone, _so alone_ ," she moaned.

"You're not alone," McKay told her, hoping she heard him. "Leah, you're not alone." He felt her continue to weep. The t-shirt he'd worn to bed was soaked down the front from her tears. "You're here in Atlantis, and there are lots of other people here. You aren't alone." He said every logical thing he could think of, but she didn't seem to be listening. He finally pushed her back slightly, put his hand on her face. "Look at me, Leah," he ordered sharply. Her eyes opened, and she looked at him, her lips trembling, her eyes overflowing. "You're _not_ alone." She stared at him for long moments, then moved toward him to close the distance of inches between them. She wanted the proof she'd always needed that a man loved her. It didn't always work, trying to feel less alone because her body was wrapped around another person's, but it sometimes did, and so she kissed him. She pressed her lips against his, and felt his shock. She ached to be with him, to feel him inside her, filling the emptiness. She pressed her tongue against his mouth and his lips parted. For a moment she felt the dizzying double sensation of his desire and her own, then she heard his thought: 'Oh—oh— _shit_!' His hands grasped her shoulders, and he forced her away from him so abruptly there was a tiny strand of saliva connecting their lips for an instant beyond the parting. She gasped.

"This—th—this this is—isn't right," McKay stammered. Leah saw her vision collapse to a pinpoint, then back out slightly to encompass McKay's mouth. She saw the words forming on his lips, those moist lips she'd just kissed. "It just—isn't right." He pushed her away and rose, stepping away from her. She reached out tentatively with her mind, needing to know what the hell was going on in him. It was a litany, a mantra in his thoughts. 'This isn't right, this isn't right, this isn't right.' She felt her body lock up, frozen, watching him back away to the door. It was like she'd taken the Polar Bear club plunge in Antarctica again. "I—I'm sorry, this isn't right," he said one final time, then he turned and went out. She followed his mind, reading his thoughts desperately, wanting him to return, to do something, to think anything other than that damned sentence. She turned stiffly as he went into his room, following when she could tell when he sat down on his bed. One cold hand reached out and touched the wall between them, and she sensed a change in the litany. 'What have I done?' He wondered, horrified, and she finally broke contact. She sat there, her hand still touching the wall as an afterthought, and she withdrew from his thoughts. Sinking into the deep freeze of her own mind, she withdrew inside herself, cocooning herself in her icy aloneness. She withdrew so far she didn't sense Jordan's arrival in Atlantis.

Jordan searched tentatively, drawn to the feeling Leah had described as a recognition. She felt it strongly in one area, and she went there. She passed through walls until she arrived in a room where McKay sat on a bed. He was wearing nothing but boxers and a damp t-shirt. His hand rested flat-palmed against the wall beside his bed, and she sensed intense distress from him.

"Oh!" She gasped. He turned quickly, his eyes widening at the sight of her. "I'm sorry!" Jordan said, moving toward the wall to her right.

"No, wait!" He called, and she stopped. This was Dr Rodney McKay, who her sister was so enamored of. If anyone might be able to help her figure out what happened to Leah, it was him. "You—you're Jordan Elton, aren't you?"

"Yes," she replied. She was confused by the intense relief she felt from him, as well as the guilt and confusion. "Why?"

"It's Leah. She—I didn't mean to…" He gestured toward the wall he'd been touching. "She needs you."

Jordan flew through the wall so fast he barely saw more than a streak of light. She was in Leah's room and when she saw her sister she was instantly terrified. Leah's face was chalk white. Her hand rested against the wall Jordan had come through. But the sickening thing was that Jordan couldn't feel Leah at all. No twin sense, no thoughts, no feelings. It was as if she was in the room alone. She immediately went to her, enveloping her, calling to her. She spent several minutes reaching futilely for Leah until she was ready to go back to McKay and demand he call a doctor. Finally, Leah began to stir.

The ice Leah had been encased in inside her mind began to thaw when Jordan first touched her, but it took time, _so long_ , to warm her enough that she felt she could move at all. The sense that she was no longer alone drew her out, and when she recognized who it was, Leah moved. She reached out with her body and her mind, trying to hold Jordan, trying to wrap her whole being up in the sense of her sister. She cried again, sobbing like she'd never stop when there was no physical contact. Jordan held her as best she could in her incorporeal form. She tried to send reassurance, love, _warmth_ back into her cold sister; for she sensed the ice Leah had encased her soul in, and it was terribly familiar. Jordan had been with her when she quit taking drugs. They'd gone together to a resort on an island, and they'd suffered together while Leah went through her cold-turkey detox. After the worst of the withdrawals from the heroin had passed, Leah had descended into her own mind's hell, and it had been a frozen wasteland. It had taken so long to draw her out from that that Jordan had been uncertain if she could return whole. Eventually Leah had returned, and she had described what she'd been through in graphic detail. Jordan never understood how Leah could go to Antarctica after her mental experiences with a frozen madness, but Leah had claimed that nothing in the iciness of Antarctica could compare.

Leah cried herself out and slept. Jordan stayed with her, doing as she always had when Leah was in need; keeping watch and guarding her fragile sister. Hours later, as she woke, Leah began to be aware of the comfort Jordan was giving her. She delved into it while her mind was still slow with sleep, settling into the love her twin had for her, trying to replenish her soul with Jordan's belief in her worth. She was deep in her sister's mind when she caught what she sensed as a sour smell. Leah began to search it out and was appalled when she found it. It was a tiny bundle of feeling that seemed to be tucked deep down, away, locked up. She felt Jordan struggle slightly against her, but Leah had been practicing her telepathic abilities much longer than Jordan. Leah ruthlessly explored the dark little pocket. It held resignation, obligation, pity, and at the core was the tiniest sense of resentment. Leah knew it was how Jordan felt about taking care of her all these years. Leah might have been the first of them to draw breath, technically the elder, but Jordan had always shielded and comforted her sister. Leah was horrified by this new insight. She lashed out, her mind shoving Jordan away so violently that Jordan was across the room before she knew what had happened.

"Is that it?" Leah said, rage building inside her. "Is that the real truth? You resent me? You _pity_ me?" Her voice rose. "Well, fuck you! I don't need you! I don't need anyone!" She was shouting. "I'm a million miles from home and I can do _anything_ here! Anything I want! I am more capable than you or Daddy or anyone could _ever imagine_! _I don't need you_ , Jage! Get out! _Get out_!"

Jordan moved toward her, and Leah threw her hands out toward Jordan, _shoving_ with her mind. A wave seemed to pass toward Jordan, and it pushed her out of the room. Leah concentrated, focusing all her will on keeping her sister out of her space. She felt Jordan press against her mind, but she imagined one of the Ancient shields in a sphere around the city, and the feeling of Jordan's pounding faded from her mind.

As Leah's fury scoured her mind clean, she felt compelled to scour her body as well. She got in the shower, set the hot water on nearly scalding and she scrubbed and scrubbed. When she finally got out, her body steamed and glowed a dark pink. She dried herself, then went out to her room to choose clothing. She wanted something completely different from the military dress that always made her think of Jordan. She found one of the dress uniform navy blue skirts, cutting the kick pleat high on her thigh, then set about recreating one of the black t-shirts. She cut, tore, and sewed until she had a top that looked like she'd bought it at a designer shop. She headed to the lab and worked through the rest of the night looking at the information the Ancients had gathered on the most common aquatic life. She would begin her research there, updating the database on the changes which had occurred since the last Ancient scientist had studied these oceans. When the sun rose, she searched out Major Sheppard and requested an assistant who was familiar with scuba gear. He offered to help her himself, but she declined.

"I'd rather start working with someone who I can regularly count on. You're too busy, and you're off world too often," Leah recalled the electricity she'd felt between them, ruthlessly ignoring how ill it had actually made her feel. She fluttered her eyes a little at him, and leaned in close. "I may ask you to take me to the mainland so I can study the coastal regions in a few days, though."

He agreed, seeming to brighten at the idea, giving her a name and where to find the man, a Marine, then she walked away. It was only then that she realized she hadn't heard any of his thoughts or felt any of his emotions. She paused outside the door and reached out mentally. She sensed Sheppard's calm mind considering the length of her legs, and withdrew her observation when he thought of her legs wrapped around him. This anger inside her seemed to grant her a measure of control over her telepathy, and she nodded to herself. She went to the barracks section of the city and asked after Sargent Rick Terrin. She enjoyed being able to walk around the servicemen without sensing their thoughts, though she still saw their eyes follow her. One or two caught her eye and she smiled at them slightly, but moved on before they approached. She was directed to the make-shift gym and found a shirtless man hanging from the knees doing sit-ups holding a large weight. He had a massive physique, and sweat glistened over his ripped abs and bulky pecs. His head was shaved bald and he had an edge to his demeanor she was immediately attracted to. She waited for him to drop back upright and set down the weight before she approached. His back was to her, and it was as impressive as the front had been. She took a breath to speak.

"What the hell is that outfit?" His voice was deep and had a rasp to it. Leah smiled.

"Like it?" She asked, putting one hand on her hip and cocking her head. He grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his face, then turned and eyed her up and down.

"Not the kind of outfit for a gym, or a military base," he said. After his eyes returned to her face, they stayed there. His face was expressionless.

"Well, if this really was either, maybe I'd be dressed differently. Right now, I'm lookin' for Terrin. That you?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, who're you?"

"I'm someone who needs a dive partner who might end up as my assistant. Dr Leah Elton, marine biologist. New arrival," she added.

"Right," he nodded. "The mind reader. Great." He shook his head and turned away.

"I'm not reading you now," she said as she walked closer to him. He glanced over his shoulder and she realized how tall he really was. He topped her by a head, and she looked up at him. "Are you refusing to dive with me?"

"I don't expect you get a lot of refusals," he said, turning back to face her. They stood a foot apart.

"You'd be surprised," she said dryly, tasting bitterness at the painful memory of the man she'd gone through hell to help refusing her the night before. "So how 'bout it? Wanna go swimmin'?" She blinked up at him flirtatiously.

"Sure, what the hell? I got nothin' better to do this morning," he replied. His eyes ran over her face like a caress, and she smiled again. It felt good to have a man she was physically attracted to respond positively. 'Unlike McKay,' she thought, then deliberately turned her mind away from that.

The head of the science division was in a fouler mood than normal as he joined Sheppard, Ford, and Teyla on their off-world mission for the day. They were in the Jumper, being attacked by Wraith darts when an energy weapon of some sort emanating from the planet below saved them. When they went to investigate, a religious order, headed by a stubborn high priestess, refused their suggestion that the planet might be used as a sanctuary for natives of the Pegasus galaxy from the Wraith. McKay's sarcasm and anger were at extreme levels, and when Sheppard finally pulled rank on him to shut him up, he sulked and fumed as they brought the high priestess with them back to Atlantis. John seemed to think he could change her mind about helping them with his smarmy charm. The Major wouldn't even let McKay accompany them as Sheppard showed their visitor around the city, and he stormed off to the cafeteria to try to bury his frustrations in food and coffee.

The dive had gone smoothly for Leah and the Marine, and though he'd seemed bored by the science of it, Terrin was an excellent assistant. Before and after the dive, they continued their banter, and Leah enjoyed the building sexual tension. They went to the cafeteria together when they'd changed back into dry clothes, and though immediately aware of McKay where he sat with a large cup of coffee and a tray full of food, she intentionally ignored him as he sat alone at his usual spot with his laptop.

A loud laugh, unfamiliar and feminine, caught McKay's attention, drawing his gaze away from his tablet computer. His eyes widened when he saw who had made the sound; Leah. As he watched, her slim frame disappeared behind the bulk of the biggest, toughest Marine in the expedition, but not before he saw that she was wearing something wildly inappropriate to a military or even scientific expedition. He tried not to stare, but he couldn't stop trying to catch a glimpse of her. His mind immediately went to the most self-deprecating thought. The night before, when she had kissed him and seems to want him… It hadn't been about _him_. She'd wanted _someone_ , and he'd been convenient. His face flushed in shame and he resolutely turned his gaze back to his work. Still, he couldn't help the spike of jealousy he felt when, a few minutes later, Leah and the Marine accompanying her left the cafeteria, with the Marine's huge meaty hand groping her ass. He gulped the remainder of his coffee and rose, stalking angrily toward the control tower to complaint to Doctor Weir about Sheppard's disregard of his input.

Leah kept cranking the innuendos up and up, and Terrin met her at each. She was still able to keep the block up, keeping herself closed off from thoughts and feelings, but there seemed to be a buzzing sensation at the back of her mind. When she and Terrin got up to leave, and he put his arm around her, sliding his hand down over her ass, and the buzzing grew to a pressure that seemed to break like a soap bubble. A dark anger washed over her from someone in the room, and Leah immediately knew it was McKay. She tilted her chin up in a conscious imitation of him did and walked out without acknowledging him. But her heart pounded painfully as she did it.

Leah brought Terrin back to her room, and when their flirtation rose to its inevitable conclusion, she found she could not allow him to penetrate her. They achieved satisfaction in other ways, and then lay together amidst rumpled bedding afterward. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked across the expanse of his chest. Her pale hand with her long thin fingers looked exceptionally white next to his tan skin. She trailed her hand over Terrin's pecs, and an unbidden thought came to her mind. It was the image from so many months ago of McKay in the shower, his less athletic chest covered with dark hair. She found herself repulsed by this musclebound man in her bed, and she quickly got up and walked across the room.

"Hm. What is it, babe?" Terrin growled drowsily. She glanced back at him, and her stomach clenched.

"I'm gonna shower," she said. She closed her eyes as she turned away. "Don't be here when I get out." She opened her eyes and went toward the bathroom. She heard the bed creak.

"What?" He snapped. She took a deep breath, crossed her arms, and faced him. He sat up on the edge of the bed, and he looked furious. Part of her brain noted that his fury wasn't even the buzz that McKay's had been.

"It was fun, really, for what it was. But I don't want you sleeping here. Be gone by the time I'm out of the shower." She spoke in a deadpan, and she didn't read him to check on how he reacted. She didn't sense his dumbfoundedness, and didn't hear his thoughts about her being a cold bitch.

She showered, and he was gone as requested when she came out. She changed the sheets and turned a fan on to air out the smell of sex from the room. Then she curled up on a chair and fell asleep, exhausted by the tumultuous hours she'd been awake.

McKay repeatedly argued with Dr Weir, attempting to bring her around to his point of view about the priestess Sheppard seemed enthralled by. Peter Grodin had witnessed her bring an unknown panel to life, and Rodney was certain it meant she was a threat, but no one was listening to him. Zelenka tracked him down amidst his work to tell him he had detected the activation of yet another system that seemed to have come online the night before, but since it seemed innocuous, McKay refused to spend time on it. Feeling put upon and resentful, Rodney spent the evening in his lab, dozing at his work station and waking with a sore neck which only exacerbated his mood. Heading toward the control tower to research a hunch he'd woken with, he ran into Sheppard. They exchanged heated words about the stranger John seemed to be working his dubious charms upon, and McKay tried to warn him about the dangers he was getting himself into. The Air Force Major was too far gone, however, and when the priestess caught them talking, he hurried after her to do whatever soothing he could. McKay stormed away, bitter and furious that no one was listening to him. The smartest man on the planet, and no one cared!

Leah slept through the night and woke stiff and sore from her cramped position on the chair, but rested. She was calmer, not so furious as she had been the day before. She did yoga for half an hour to stretch out, then dressed. She chose a black tank top and black camo pants, then went to breakfast. McKay wasn't at his usual table, and Leah ate in silent solitude. She sensed there were many more people taking notice of her, and she consciously made the effort to ignore them, trying to find a way to bolster the shields which had been so effective the day before. After she finished eating, she headed for the lab. McKay's workspace was dark and silent when she passed by it, and she went back over to where the doors to their quarters were next to each other. She reached out with her mind, carefully cracking her mental blocks, trying to suss out whether McKay was in his room or not, and found him absent from there, as well. She reinforced her shields with her frustration, and went down to the earth sciences lab, sitting down at a terminal. She quickly became engrossed in her studies of the coastal sea life, adding her notations from the day before. Dr Baru came in, though Leah didn't notice until he spoke to her.

"I heard you had some fun yesterday," he said, his tone teasing. Leah turned slowly. She kept her voice neutral.

"I went for a dive to start updating the database about the marine life," she said.

"Yeah, with _Rick Terrin_ ," Baru's voice was appreciative, and she realized he was gay.

"Is there a way to make this information portable?" Leah asked, changing the subject entirely. She cocked her head at the Ancient terminal she'd been using. Baru sighed, shrugged, and nodded.

"Sure. You could use one of these," he took a thin PDA-looking item off a shelf. She approached and leaned over him. He dialed into another part of the Ancient system and indicated a part of the screen. "Just use this to send what information you want to the Pad."

"Thank you. Do you mind if I take this for a couple of days? I'm planning on going to work at the coast."

"Yeah, just check it out though the supply system. You taking Terrin with you? Kind of a working vacation?" His thick eyebrows waggled suggestively. Leah closed her eyes and sighed.

"Look, that was a mistake," she said. "I may or may not be working with him at all after… _that_ , so please drop the innuendo. I need some time alone to clear my head. Adjusting to being here has been—difficult. I might as well be productive while I take my little time-out; thus my coastal excursion."

Leah packed for several days of camping, requisitioning supplies she thought she'd need, and then asked to be taken to the mainland. Weir, Sheppard, and McKay were all occupied with their visitor, and she pretended to have authority convincingly enough to get one of the pilots to drop her off on the coast. She told herself for the entire flight that she wasn't running away from anything, not McKay, not her feelings of worthlessness or her fear of being stranded out here in a situation her weakness for sex had made worse. She was doing a job. That was it.

The lead scientist had spent the rest of the night rigging up sensors in the conference room so he could find out what the secret was that the priestess was hiding; he knew she was hiding something, and he had suspicions about what it was.

When the negotiations started at the horseshoe shaped table, he ran his scans from his laptop, and ignored the blather Weir and the so-called priestess engaged in. When the woman revealed that she'd known what McKay was doing all along, everything clicked into place for him. She was one of the Ancients, and he wanted to know what kind of game she was playing with them. He accused her, and she didn't deny it. When asked why she'd come to Atlantis, her response that she was there because John Sheppard had asked her to come and she was lonely turned his stomach. Sheppard was Captain Kirk, ever the seducer of all females. It was only a matter of time before he worked his way through the bed of every woman on the base. The thought that he's eventually seduce even Leah cut him so deeply he could only watch as the Ancient woman mystically activated the gate and returned to her own world. Sheppard followed in a Jumper, and Rodney was so disgusted, he didn't even bother to protest that he should take backup. When John came back looking like he'd had the time of his life, all McKay could do was walk away.

~~~SGA~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find some parts of this chapter a bit cringy. I wrote it a very very long time ago and that’s my only defense.


End file.
